Monday, 23 January 2017

Stop Fearing Rejection

There was a time when being rejected by the group could be life threatening. Imagine living thousands of years ago. People relied on each other just to stay alive. That fear still resides within us, even though it is no longer necessary.
Just because the fear of rejection is no longer useful it does not mean it is easy to overcome.
The fear of rejection is among the most influential of all fears. The fear of others judging you can be very limiting.
These strategies will help you let go of fear and welcome greater confidence and joy.
What is the worst that can happen?  If you ask out that pretty woman, what is the worst likely outcome? Do you think she might say, “No”? Odds are that it will not even be that bad. She will probably find an excuse to let you down gently. Then again, she might say “Yes”!
If you go for a job interview and do not get the job, what do you stand to lose? A few hours of your time! 
Interestingly, the scariest situations often have little to no risk, but a huge potential for something good to happen. What are you really risking? 
Make of list of the positive potential outcomes. That beautiful stranger might turn out to be your soulmate. That new job might be the best job you have ever had. Make a list of everything good that might happen.
Take a deep breath. Your body can lead your emotions. Deep breathing oxygenates your blood and slows your heart rate. Deep breathing feels good. Focus on your breathing and remove your focus away from your fear.
You may also want to consider performing a meditation exercise. Meditations work wonders when it comes to soothing our nerves, especially when combined with deep breathing exercises.
Act anyway.  Fear and discomfort are bad excuses for not doing something, provided your life is not in danger. Your subconscious is really bad at judging the effects of emotional threats. You have nothing to lose. Allow your logic to overrule the uncomfortable feelings you are experiencing. With practice, your body will adjust and stop making you feel bad.
Remember that the world tends to make erroneous rejections. Many college basketball teams rejected Larry Bird. Many bestselling novels were rejected numerous times before someone finally published them. Even the Beatles struggled to get a record deal.
The fools that do not know any better reject even the most talented people.
Examine previous rejections. Consider the times in your life that you have been rejected. Was it horrible? What did you experience? Now consider your successes. Was your greatest success worth the greatest rejection you have suffered? Of course it was.

The fear is the worst part. The rejection itself is much less painful than the anticipation of rejection. Keep your thoughts focused on a positive outcome. You can sneak around the fear of rejection and enjoy greater success.

Give yourself the opportunity to be wrong. Most of us are much worse at predicting the future than we think we are. Even if you are quite sure you will be rejected, you will frequently be wrong. Instead of assuming you know the truth, prove yourself right or wrong by taking the leap. Let the world decide. Never assume you will fail. Prove it.

Use rejection as an opportunity for growth. When things do not work out, you have been provided with an occasion to learn something valuable. What can you do better next time? What mistakes did you make?
Avoid allowing the fear of failure to control your actions. An exciting and fulfilling life requires risk and hope. Allow yourself to fail, but avoid allowing the belief of failure to paralyse you. You never know the outcome until you try. You might surprise yourself and end up enjoying the best thing that ever happened to you!





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