Thursday 28 January 2016

Knowledge Gives You Power

    Knowledge Will Give You Power, But Character Respect 
    (Bruce Lee)
Most of us have heard the phrase “knowledge is power” — but we may not fully understand how to translate this into improving our lives in a practical way. Here is a little breakdown:
Knowledge = Options = Power
When we educate ourselves, we learn new things that we were previously unaware of. This gives us the ability to make constructive decisions, come up with more evolved and intelligent thoughts, improve the lives of ourselves and those around us making us more valuable people overall.
This, in turn, leads to more options. The more valuable a person you are, the more people will want to be around you, work with you, introduce you to others who need your help or can help you, and more doors and opportunities open in your life.
This high level of options in life gives you the freedom to choose from many different paths, and so you do not necessarily need anyone or anything to be happy or successful. That freedom is power. Freedom allows you to have the power to speak your mind, be who you truly are, not accept second class behavior from anyone, and do whatever makes you happy. That is why knowledge is so important.

If you read a book written by a genius in an area you are passionate about, you will absorb so many things that have the potential to dramatically change your life.
The best part about knowledge is that unlike fancy toys, stocks, or money, knowledge becomes part of who you are. Your car can break down at any moment. The stocks you own can plummet at any time. Hyperinflation can render all of your money useless within the blink of an eye (if you do not believe this is possible, do some research and give yourself some knowledge about what happened in prosperous nations such as Germany and Russia during the course of history; no one is fully immune).
But no matter what happens in your life, knowledge is something that nobody can ever take away from you. Once you learn a new idea that transforms the way you view the world it is yours forever. The more you learn the more insights you gain, until one day you realise that the constant pursuit of knowledge is one of the pillars of your success and happiness.

Tuesday 19 January 2016

Learn Not To Lash Out

Rumination, a destructive habit,  that can lead us to lash out at innocent people or pets.
 
Your boss chews you out over something inconsequential, and hours later, on the drive home, you find yourself replaying her comments over and over again. And you have got plenty of time: The traffic has you inching along the motorway for 45 minutes. By the time you get home, you are seething - at your boss, at the traffic, at the world. As you stomp up the driveway, your little Cocker Spaniel Brownie trips you up, and you snap. You shout at her and smack her on the rump—and immediately feel like a class A jerk.
What just happened? Psychologists call it displaced aggression, but most of us recognize it as the kick-the-dog effect. Anger and frustration in one part of life can lead us to lash out at innocent people (or pets) in another.
The key is rumination, a destructive and common mental habit. Rumination is what you do when you repeatedly relive an experience in your mind, replaying it, reviewing it, and reinterpreting it. It plays a major role in depression - pushing people over the edge from a temporary sad mood into a major, lasting sadness. The habit can also turn a nervous person into someone truly suffering from anxiety.
Psychologists have evidence that rumination also plays a significant role in postponed and redirected anger. As you mull over the details of an enraging episode, you may think you are trying to get more information out of it - a new understanding. But you are not really learning anything new. As you continue to 
replay the action, you keep the frustration and anger fresh and etch the incident into your mind.
Hours later, even though you might no longer feel physically angry, these painful thoughts are still in the back of your mind. You cannot retaliate against your boss, since he would fire you. You cannot take it out on the traffic, since there is nothing to be done about it. So when faced with a trivial annoyance - like a clumsy dog - you go ballistic.
Psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, who has studied rumination, theorises that as you continue to focus on anger-provoking situations, you form new angry associations, setting up a vicious circle of anger and rumination. Because part of anger involves self-justification (i.e, the feeling that you are right to be angry), the anger only grows as you continue to think of reasons why you were right and the other person wrong.
Research led by psychologist Fred Bushman from the University of Michigan shows how likely people are to overreact to a minor annoyance after ruminating over a previous insult. In his study, participants were interrupted and humiliated while doing a difficult task. Some were asked to think about the experience, and some were distracted from mulling it over. When all of them were later given a chance to retaliate against a hapless research assistant, those who had been ruminating were much more apt to do so.
The hostile attribution bias, which kicks in when you are seething with anger, makes matters worse. The term describes the fact that when you are preoccupied with angry thoughts, you are much more likely to see in other people's ambiguous behavior a negative, personal slight.
That person who barged into you while chattering on her cell phone? If you were in a calmer state of mind, you would just assume she was not paying attention. But if your mind is churning with angry thoughts, you are going to assume she did it on purpose. Rumination makes it much more likely that you will jump to such an antagonistic conclusion.
Anger fueled by rumination can be especially hard to halt. Pay attention to how long you allow yourself to replay an infuriating scenario in your head. After 10 to 20 minutes, the initial burst of anger usually wears off. If you are still thinking about it, that is a good sign that you are probably not getting any new insights.
Trying to short-circuit the cycle by squelching your angry thoughts usually is not very effective. Research suggests that a better technique is to distract yourself.
Other tactics: exercising or finding something funny to entertain yourself with. It is almost impossible to laugh and be angry at the same time.

Tuesday 12 January 2016

You Can Be Too Careful - Life Is Short

There is an old saying that, “you can’t be too careful.”
But I am not entirely sure that this is always true because life is short.
You can be too careful.
You can try to hold on to what you feel comfortable with and resist change.
You can live a life that avoids taking the risks and making the mistakes that are required to learn, grow and maximise your potential.
You can hide in the background, not exposing your amazing talents or innovative ideas to scrutiny.
You can try to find a job in a secure, safe industry, only to have the rug pulled out from underneath you when you least expect it, leaving you unprepared for the future.
You can put up walls around your heart, protecting you from possible pain, but also limiting the opportunity to love and be loved.
You can keep your feet on solid ground at the expense of trying to fly.
You can rationalise and come up with a long list of reasons to live carefully, rather than launch yourself into the unknown and live the life you were made for.
It is tempting to live carefully, as sometimes the risk of potential pain seems too great to cope with.
However, this is what I have learned from life.
Pain is inevitable.
Whether you live carefully or take reasonable risks, you will experience problems in life.
But just as the cow tries to avoid the storm and the buffalo runs towards it, those who are bold enough to live a life of adventure spend less time stuck in the mire of life and more in the sunshine.
Take a risk today.
Try something new today.
Do what you know you must today.
Because life is too short and you can be too careful!
Life  is too short… 
  • to waste it complaining about things that you cannot control.
  • to spend it in a dead-end job doing nothing significant.
  • to be a spectator and not a participant.
  • to squander the skills and abilities that you have.
  • to keep your best ideas to yourself.
  • to hold grudges that end up hurting you more than those who have offended you.
  • to be afraid of commitment and love.
  • to spend significant proportions of it on the couch watching mind-numbing television shows.
  • to spend it focusing on your problems and not coming up with great solutions.
  • to ignore the opportunities that present themselves for you to make a positive difference.
  • to try to please everyone.
  • to forget to look after your health.
  • to blame others for your circumstances rather than take responsibility.
  • to not make time to develop the spiritual and sacred aspects of your life.
  • to be beige.
  • to focus on making and spending money instead of the genuinely important things.
  • to try to do it alone.
  • to live with the regret of not following your dreams.
  • to forget to have fun along the way.
  • to miss your kids growing up because you spend too much time in the office.
  • to repeat the same mistakes year after year and not learn anything new.
We only get one shot at life and it flies by in the blink of an eye.
Let us make the most of it and do something magnificent.
Copyright with thanks to Darren Poke

Friday 8 January 2016

The Power of Burning Desire

All great success ultimately begins with an idea, but what makes ideas become reality is the fuel of human desire. An idea by itself can give you a temporary feeling of inspiration, but burning desire is what gets you through all the perspiration necessary to overcome the inevitable obstacles along the way.

Take a moment to think about the goals you have set for yourself.  How committed are you to achieving these goals? Under what conditions would you give up? What if you could significantly increase your desire to achieve these goals? What if you wanted them so badly that you knew with absolute certainty that you would absolutely, positively never ever give up? When you are truly 100% committed to reaching your goals, you move from hoping to knowing. If you want something badly enough, then quitting is simply not an option. You either find a way or make one. You pay the price, whatever it takes.

Those with an intense, burning desire to achieve their goals are often referred to as being "driven." But is this special quality reserved only for a privileged few? Certainly not. With the right approach, anyone can cultivate a deep, burning desire within themselves and move to a state of total commitment, knowing with certainty that success is as inevitable as the sunrise.
So how do you cultivate burning desire? You begin with an outside-in approach, altering your environment in ways that will strengthen your resolve while eliminating doubt. If you take the time to do it right, you will establish a positive feedback cycle, such that your desire will continue to increase on a daily basis.

Here are eight steps you can take to cultivate burning desire to achieve any goal you set for yourself:


1. Burn The Sips

If your goals are really important enough to you, then you can start by burning the proverbial ships, such that you have no choice but to press on. For instance, if you want to launch your own business, you can begin by making the commitment to quitting your job. Write a letter of resignation, put it in a stamped envelope addressed to your boss, and give it to a trusted friend with firm instructions to mail the letter if you have not quit your job by a certain date.

You use a small bit of willpower to establish a consequence that will virtually compel you to keep your commitment. As Andrew Carnegie (Napoleon Hill - Think and Grow Rich) once said, "Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket!"

In the classic book The Art of War, Sun Tzu notes that soldiers fight the most ferociously when they believe they are fighting to the death. A good general knows that when attacking an opposing force, it's important to create the illusion of a potential escape route for the enemy, so they will not fight as hard. What escape routes are you keeping open that are causing you not to fight as hard?

If you do not burn those ships, you are sending the message to your subconscious mind that it is OK to quit. When the going gets tough, as it inevitably does for any worthwhile goal, you will quit. If you really want to achieve your goals, then you have got to burn those ships to the ground, and scatter the ashes. If you are thinking that the average person will not do this, you are right -- that's why they are average.

2. Fill your environment with desire boosters.

Let us say one of your important goals is to lose weight. Get some poster board, and make your own posters that say, "I weigh X pounds," where X is your goal weight, and put them up around your house. Change your screensaver to a text message that says the same thing (or to some equally motivational imagery). Get some magazines, cut out pictures of people who have bodies similar to what you would like to have, and put them up around your house. Cut out pictures of healthy food that looks good to you, and post those around your kitchen. If you work in an office, then alter your office in the same manner. Do not worry about what your co-workers will think, just do it! They may poke a little fun at you at first, but they will  begin to see how committed you are.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

Make friends with people who will encourage you on the path to your goals, and find ways to spend more time with them. Share your goals only with people who will support you, not those who will respond with cynicism or indifference. If you want to lose weight, for instance, get yourself into a gym, and start befriending those who are already in great shape. You will find that their attitudes become infectious, and you will start believing that you can do it too. Meeting people who have lost one hundred pounds or more can be extremely motivating. If you want to start a new business, join the local chamber of commerce or a trade association. Do whatever it takes to make new friends who will help you keep your commitment.

Although this can be difficult for some people, you need to fire the negative people from your life. You can see your future just by looking at the six people with whom you spend the most time. If you do not like what you see, then change those people. There is no honour in remaining loyal to people who expect you to fail. One of the reasons people fail to start their own businesses, for instance, is that they spend most of their time associating with other employees. The way out of this trap is to start spending a lot more time associating with business owners, try joining a trade association. Mindsets are contagious. Spend your time with people whose mindsets are worth catching.

4. Feed your mind with empowering information on a daily basis.

Inspirational books and audio programs are one of the best fuel sources for cultivating desire. If you want to quit smoking, read a dozen books written by ex-smokers on how to quit the habit. If you want to start a business, then start devouring business books. Go to seminars on occasion. Feed your mind with some form of motivational material (books, articles, audio programs) for at least fifteen minutes a day. This will continually recharge your batteries and keep your desire impenetrably strong.

When you absorb material created by an extremely passionate person, you will often find yourself feeling more passionate as well. Get a copy of Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich to get you started. 

5. Replace sources of negative energy with positive energy.

Take an inventory of all the sensory inputs in your life that affect your attitude -- what you read, what you watch on TV, the cleanliness of your home, etc. Note which inputs influence you negatively, and strive to replace them with positive inputs. First, avoid watching TV news -- it is overwhelmingly negative. Do you really need to hear about the woman who was mauled to death by her neighbour's dog? Fill that time with positive inputs instead, like motivational and educational audio programs. If you like to watch movies, then watch movies that are full of positive energy, such as light-hearted comedies and stories of triumph over adversity. Avoid dark, tragic movies that leave you feeling empty afterwards. Dump the horror books, and replace them with humour books. Spend more time laughing and less time worrying. If you have a messy desk, clean it up! If you have young children or grandchildren, spend some time playing with them. Some of this may sound a bit corny, but it will really help increase your overall motivation. If you have a hard time motivating yourself, chances are that your life is overflowing with too many sources of negativity. It's far better to happily achieve than it is to feel you must achieve in order to be happy.

6. Dress for success.

Whenever you pass by a mirror, which is probably several times a day, you get an instant dose of image reinforcement. So what image are you currently reinforcing? Would you dress any differently if your goals were already achieved? Would you sport a different hairstyle? Would you shower a bit more often?

If you always go for the the ripped jeans and T-shirt look, visualise yourself in the future, having achieved certain goals. Would you not dress a lot better? With some experimentation adopt a style of clothing that looks professional and is also comfortable. Donate old clothes to charity and replaced your wardrobe with clothes that fit the new identity. It is so important to take pride in your appearance, it definitely makes a noticeable difference. So make sure the clothes you wear each day are consistent with your new self-image.

7. Use mental programming.

This is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique that will help you associate strong positive emotions to whatever goal you are working to achieve. Find some music that really energises and inspires you. Put on your headphones and listen to it for fifteen to twenty minutes, and as you do this, form a clear mental picture of yourself having already achieved the results you want. Make your imagery big, bright, vivid, colorful, three-dimensional, panoramic, and animated. Picture the scene as if looking through your own eyes (this is very important). This will help you form a neuro-association between the positive emotions elicited by the music and the goal you want to achieve, thus strengthening your desire. This is a great way to begin each day, and you can even do it while lying in bed when you first awaken if you set things up the night before. You should cycle the music periodically, since the emotional charge you get will tend to diminish if you listen to the same songs each time.

Keep in mind that this form of mental programming is already being used on you by advertisers. Watch a fast-food TV commercial, and you will note that the food is big, bright, and animated-- and don't forget the catchy tune. So instead of letting others program your desires for you, take charge and mentally reprogram yourself.

8. Take immediate action.

Once you set a goal for yourself, act immediately. As you begin working on a fresh new goal, do not worry so much about making detailed long-term plans. Too often people get stuck in the state of analysis paralysis and never reach the action stage. You can develop your plan later, but get moving first. Just identify the very first physical action you need to take, and then do it. For instance, if you have decided to lose weight, go straight to your refrigerator, and throw out all of the junk food. Do not think about it. Do not ponder the consequences. Just do it immediately.

One of the secrets to success is recognising that motivation follows action. The momentum of continuous action fuels motivation, while procrastination kills motivation. So act boldly, as if it is impossible to fail. If you keep adding fuel to your desire, you will reach the point of knowing that you will never quit, and ultimate success will be nothing more than a matter of time.

If you apply these eight strategies, you will add so much fuel to your desire that the fire will never burn out. You will move towards your goals like a guided missile to its target, and you will enjoy the process because you will be so focused on the positive rewards instead of the difficulty of the tasks. If you get enough positive energy flowing into you, you will soon have positive results flowing out of you. And you will quickly become the kind of person that others refer to as "driven."

With thanks to Steve Pavlina to read the complete article go to

Tuesday 5 January 2016

New Year -- New Goals

Now is the time for action! 
Start planning for the year ahead by setting out a plan of action, in other words setting your Goals 
After all, would you set out on a major journey with no real idea of your destination? Probably not!
Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality.
The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You will also quickly spot the distractions that can, so easily, lead you astray.
Why Set Goals?
By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the achievement of those goals, and you will see progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. You will also raise your self confidence as you recognise your own ability and competence in achieving the goals that you have set.
Starting to Set Personal Goals
You set your goals on a number of levels:
  • First you create your "big picture" of what you want to do with your life (or over, say, the next 10 years), and identify the large-scale goals that you want to achieve.
  • Then, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit to reach your lifetime goals.
  • Finally, once you have your plan, you start working on it to achieve these goals.
This is why we start the process of setting goals by looking at your lifetime goals. Then, we work down to the things that you can do in, say, the next five years, then next year, next month, next week, and today, to start moving towards them.

Step 1: Setting Lifetime Goals

The first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in your lifetime (or at least, by a significant and distant age in the future). Setting lifetime goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes all other aspects of your decision making.
Try to set goals in some of the following categories (or in other categories of your own, where these are important to you):
  • Career – What level do you want to reach in your career, or what do you want to achieve?
  • Financial – How much do you want to earn, by what stage? How is this related to your career goals?
  • Education – Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to have in order to achieve other goals?
  • Family – Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent? How do you want to be seen by a partner or by members of your extended family?
  • Artistic – Do you want to achieve any artistic goals?
  • Attitude – Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? (If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.)
  • Physical – Are there any athletic goals that you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?
  • Pleasure – How do you want to enjoy yourself? (You should ensure that some of your life is for you!)
  • Public Service – Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?
Spend some time brainstorming these things, and then select one or more goals in each category that best reflect what you want to do. Then consider trimming again so that you have a small number of really significant goals that you can focus on.
As you do this, make sure that the goals that you have set are ones that you genuinely want to achieve, not ones that your parents, family, or employers might want. (If you have a partner, you probably want to consider what he or she wants – however, make sure that you also remain true to yourself!).
Step 2: Setting Smaller Goals
Once you have set your lifetime goals, set a five-year plan of smaller goals that you need to complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan.
Then create a one-year plan, six-month plan, and a one-month plan of progressively smaller goals that you should reach to achieve your lifetime goals. Each of these should be based on the previous plan.
Then create a daily To Do List of things that you should do today to work towards your lifetime goals.
At an early stage, your smaller goals might be to read books and gather information on the achievement of your higher level goals. This will help you to improve the quality and realism of your goal setting.
Finally review your plans, and make sure that they fit with the way in which you want to live your life.
Staying on Course
Once you have decided on your first set of goals, keep the process going by reviewing and updating your To-Do List on a daily basis.
Periodically review the longer term plans, and modify them to reflect your changing priorities and experience. (A good way of doing this is to schedule regular, repeated reviews.
SMART Goals
A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART mnemonic. While there are plenty of variants (some of which we've included in parenthesis), SMART usually stands for:
  • S – Specific (or Significant).
  • M – Measurable (or Meaningful).
  • A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented).
  • R – Relevant (or Rewarding).
  • T – Time-bound (or Trackable).
For example, instead of having "to sail around the world" as a goal, it is more powerful to use the SMART goal "To have completed my trip around the world by December 31, 2016." Obviously, this will only be attainable if a lot of preparation has been completed beforehand!
Further Tips for Setting Your Goals
The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective, achievable goals:
  • State each goal as a positive statement – Express your goals positively – "Execute this technique well" is a much better goal than "Do not make this stupid mistake."
  • Be precise: Set precise goals, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement. If you do this, you will know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.
  • Set priorities – When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by having too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.
  • Write goals down – This crystallizes them and gives them more force.
  • Keep operational goals small – Keep the low-level goals that you are working towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for reward.
  • Set performance goals, not outcome goals – You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible. It can be quite dispiriting to fail to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your control!
    If you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals, and draw satisfaction from them.
  • Set realistic goals – It's important to set goals that you can achieve. All sorts of people (for example, employers, parents, media, or society) can set unrealistic goals for you. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions.
    It is also possible to set goals that are too difficult because you might not appreciate either the obstacles in the way, or understand quite how much skill you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance.
Achieving Goals
When you have achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress that you have made towards other goals.
If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this helps you build the self-confidence you deserve.
With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goal plans:
  • If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goal harder.
  • If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goal a little easier.
  • If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.
  • If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.
  • Feed lessons you have learned back into the process of setting your next goals. Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on. Adjust them regularly to reflect your growth and experience, and if goals do not hold any attraction any longer, consider letting them go.

    Key Points

    Goal setting is an important method of:
    • Deciding what you want to achieve in your life.
    • Separating what's important from what's irrelevant, or a distraction.
    • Motivating yourself.
    • Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.
    Set your lifetime goals first. Then, set a five-year plan of smaller goals that you need to complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan. Keep the process going by regularly reviewing and updating your goals. And remember to take time to enjoy the satisfaction of achieving your goals when you do so. If you do not already set goals, do so, starting now. As you make this technique part of your life, you will find your career accelerating, and you will wonder how you did without it!
To read the full article go to