The Value Of True Friendship

Do not walk in front of me, I may not follow. Do not walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Most of us have friends, or at least one friend, someone we spend time with, someone who knows us better than others do, someone we can count on when the need arises. It has been said that a friend is a gift that we give ourselves. Yet, how much time do we really spend thinking about those people who matter more to us than all the other people we meet and interact with throughout our life, sometimes including family?

What is the meaning of friendship?  There is no doubt that a friend adds to the fullness of life. Authenticity, honesty, and trust are qualities we expect to find in a friend. There is an understanding that the binding together of people in friendship helps each of us define and realise a meaningful life. 

The language of friendship is not words but meanings. 

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.

A true friend shows up no matter what, they support and encourages us, tolerates our shortcomings, accepts us unconditionally, and care for us no matter what. 

A real friend walks in (even when they would rather be somewhere else), when everyone else is walking out. With a true friend the walls come down and you can be who you are without fear.  A good friend knows you well, sometimes better than you do yourself and is not afraid to tell you things you do not want to tell yourself.  A friend is present for you no matter what time of the night or day it is.

 A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

Friendship is a partnership. Two people come together on equal terms. They give their all. Friendship demands more than love. Friendship expects and endures the good, the bad, and the ugly. A best friend is someone who brings out the best in you.

The only way to have a friend is to be one.  The best mirror is an old friend.

Life is partly what we make it and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.

True friends walk through life together.  A real friend bears witness to whatever happens to you. With old friends there is a comforting familiarity. You can let down your guard and just be who you truly are without fear, shame or guilt. A faithful friend is a treasure found.

Life without a friend is death without a witness.

We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.

 A true friend shares our joys and sorrows. The inevitable twists and turns of our lives down the long and winding road that represents our journey is made sweeter and more meaningful by the sharing and caring of a good friend. Rites of passage, marriage, births, death of a friend’s significant other, death of those close to you, or any other important milestone event, are marked and honoured together.

Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil, it also doubles our joy and divides our grief.

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures.

Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.

Friends can be family. Sometimes our friends are the family we wished we had. Sometimes we have difficulty with our own family. We may feel misunderstood, judged, ridiculed, or even ignored. In that case, our friends often fill in for what is not provided by our own family. In the best case scenario, however, family members can also be good friends.  

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives and a good friend can be your greatest relation.

Friends are often soul-mates. Recognising each other on a soul level helps us spiritually. John O’Donohue calls this the anam cara experience, translated from Gaelic to mean soul friend. “The anam cara was a person to whom you could reveal the hidden intimacies of your life. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the friend of your soul.”

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. Friendship is always an act of recognition.

Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

The sum is greater than the parts. In friendship our actions and reactions cause us to go beyond just being you and me. We are ultimately transformed into something far greater by the mere act of signing on to be in each other’s lives. We open new doors for each other; stepping over the threshold into new worlds, we broaden each other’s horizon.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit.

 Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances, if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

 A friend rekindles our light when it has gone out, ignites our excitement, and inspires us to do better and more. A real friend may even inspire you in a way you never imagined you could be. They may wake you up to all of the possibilities that live within you and help you to realise your full potential.

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.

There comes that mysterious meeting in life when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be, igniting the circuits of our highest potential.

 A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it to you when you have forgotten the words.

A true friend is the gift that keeps on giving. 

With thanks to Abigail Brenner MD https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201605/the-importance-friends

Setting A Positive New Year "Wish List"

Wishing you a happy, healthy, successful New Year.

Sticking to New Year resolutions can be difficult. Whether you plan to stop eating sugar, run a marathon or save money, how many times have you made New Year’s resolutions and found that a couple of days, weeks or months later your good intentions are impossible to keep?

You certainly will not be alone, but rather than setting resolutions that do not make you  happy or quickly start to feel unachievable, why not create a ‘wish list’ of experiences or things you would like to do.

Here is a handy guide on making New Year’s resolutions you actually want to keep and how to set  achievable goals.  It will be more fun! 

Reflect On The Past Year

New Year’s resolutions originate from our Roman ancestors who celebrated Janus, the god of beginnings on 1 January, when people reflected on the past year and looked to the year ahead and exchanged promises, gifts and blessings.

Do as the Romans did and take a moment to reflect on the past year. Find a quiet space and jot down five things that stand out as positive experiences in your year.

Next, write down five things that you feel less positively about. These can be small moments or major life events, but looking back helps us move forwards and is a helpful way to start considering what you would like to achieve in the new year.

Small Steps

One of the reasons many people do not keep their resolutions is that they set themselves goals that are so big they often feel unattainable.

For example, rather than declaring you are going to run a marathon, when you have not run since school, why not set yourself the goal of running a 5K or 10K and build towards your goal in small steps. This is less likely to be as daunting or require such a big time commitment that you are tempted to stop.

If you still want to achieve your marathon dreams why not go for that the following year?

Keeping a diary of your progress is a useful way to help you stay on track and see how far you have come. Enlisting the support of friends and family by explaining what you are trying to achieve is another good way to help you stick to your goal.

Create Your 2019 Wish List

While in the past you may have failed to continue with resolutions that involved self-denial, going into the new year why not create a ‘wish list’ of all of the things you would like to do in 2019 instead.

Before starting, take a look at your list of highs and lows of last year and then start writing down everything you would like to do in the new year.

Do not hold back, write everything down. Your wish list can include epic things, such as travelling to Peru, climbing Mount Fuji, writing a book, to simple everyday things that make you happy. Such as going to the cinema once a month, reading the book you have always wanted to read or going for a daily walk in your lunch break.

Whatever you would like to see, do, learn or visit, write it down and then as the year progresses see how many you can tick off your list.

When you come the end of 2019, you might be surprised by how much you have achieved.

WIth thanks to https://www.calmmoment.com/wellbeing/how-to-make-positive-new-years-resolutions-and-set-goals-for-2018/