Bad Habits That Hold You Back From Success

Habit-forming goes hand in hand with success. There’s no ‘if’s’ or ‘buts’ on this one; it is essential to create solid habits that align with your values for you to make a success in whatever area of your life you wish. Creating habits that will serve you is all well and good, but have you ever honestly sat down and assessed the areas that might be holding you back?

It’s almost as if you are sitting in your car, foot firmly pressing down on the accelerator, but you are going nowhere. Until you release the handbrake you are not going to move. Bad habits are your handbrake and for every great idea you will need to release the handbrake. Below are 13 habits that are currently holding you back from getting exactly where you want to go.

1.Waiting for the right moment

There never really is a right moment, so waiting around for one is pretty much a waste of your time You have to pick your moment – the one that suits the direction you want to go in right here, right now.  Waiting for the right moment can be disguised as procrastination, or if I may say so, fear. If you live true to your values then every moment should be acted on within the best of your interests. In every second of each day you have total control of each moment so aim to make each one fit right with you. Be aware, take the opportunity and create, create, create.

2. Needing approval from others

Once you understand that you are responsible for everything that has come and gone in your life you’ll realise that everything from here onwards depends on you as well. Taking action and having faith in your own decisions will make you a leader and therefore you will not wait around for the opinion and approval from others.

3. The need to always be perfect

Striving for perfection is almost a form of self-harm.  It’s like being that dog in the cartoons chasing its tail. It’ll never happen, because perfection doesn’t exist. Think about it: when is anything ever perfect? Life is always yin and yang so you have to accept that striving for perfection can be damaging to your success. It brings with it unhappiness as there is always ‘something else to do’ when at times its better to be proud of your achievements thus far.

4. Too stubborn to let go

Ideas will come and go, so will good people, business colleagues, employees, partners… but for your creativity to blossom you have to find a way to allow these things to leave your universe as easy as they came in to it. Nothing lasts forever so learn that letting go will allow you the freedom of thought to make better of your life and move you further in the direction of success. Be careful not to create an emotional attachment to things, as they will become harder to let go. Know that the person, idea or whatever you are holding on to does not define you so there is not need need to cling to it. Lose the emotion, lose the stubbornness and make way for the new.

5. Not apologizing for making mistakes

Apologizing can really hurt your pride, right? Admitting liability for things gone wrong is not something that we are too comfortable with. What about stepping out of your comfort zone and having a look around you? The people you value the most, and have the best connection with, are the ones that are honest and open to you. If you want to move on in business and in life and want to be respected learn that apologizing for your mistakes is vital in moving forward. People respect honesty and any trust barriers will be broken.

6. Not learning from people “less” than you

I was once told by a good friend that “everyone has something to offer” and at times when I’ve felt like I haven’t needed input from anyone else I have reminded myself of this and allowed myself to open my mind. The truth is there is no one “less” than you and once you accept that your stubbornness will disappear. This doesn’t mean you have to take in everything that everyone says, but listen and give people your time as you may find that you will discover a little diamond of information that you just needed.

7. Not willing to do something beyond your duties

A little more effort goes a long way. You’ve heard the saying “you get out what you put in” right? Well it’s true, and you’ll find that those that are super successful do not sit around and revel in their accomplishments, they are always figuring out how they can do more and continue excelling. This also extends to stepping out of your comfort zone a little and surprising yourself by doing something you don’t usually do. You’ll feel great about it too, and it’ll become addictive.

8. Spending too long worrying about the outcome

We all worry at times but letting worry take over you is not going to propel your success. There is only so much in your control so you can do something about it but there are many things that are out of your control and therefore will not serve you to worry about.  Put in the hard work and from there onwards relax and let be what will be.  If you worry you will clog up your brain power and lose your creativity to continue your creative work.

9. Comparing yourself to others

Success should be a personal matter. Each individual should define what success means to them and you have to be doing that yourself. Find what’s important to you and what success looks and feels like to you and be in total control of that feeling. Looking at others and always knocking yourself down because you haven’t achieved what they have or own what they own is unnecessary. You have your divine right to create the kind of success that you have worked for.

10. Not assessing your mistakes

Mistakes are part of life; we all know that, but if you’re making the same ones over and over again don’t you think that there is something going seriously wrong? It’s time to assess your mistakes honestly. Break them down and ask yourself honest questions, first of all why they may be happening and why you didn’t act differently from the last time. This will help you find better solutions for the future.

11. Not working on your weaknesses

I’m sorry to break the headline news to you, but yes, you have weaknesses. That’s a great thing, though, because for every weakness, you have a strong area. Once you identify your weak areas spend a short amount of time each day working on ways to improve them. For example, if you know you need to improve your anatomy knowledge for your work, spend 15-20 minutes a day reading up on areas that you find difficult to understand and slowly but surely you will gain a much better understanding of what you need to learn.

12. Spending too long doing the things you don’t like doing

Is this contradictory of the point above? It certainly isn’t. What I’m getting at here is different to point 11. If doing your accounts drives you mad and takes up far too much of your valuable time, then hire an accountant and the job will be done properly. People often think about the expense of getting others to do work for them but trust in others’ expertise and let your mind focus on the things that you do well.

13. Taking life too seriously

Life can get you down for sure, but when you feel like the world is caving in on you remember how wonderful life is and think about all the great people and moments that have contributed in bringing you to where you are today. Remember when you were a child and you used to run around with youthful exuberance free of pain, stress and worry? Sure we have a lot more on our agendas as adults, but bring yourself back to that feeling of freedom because at any one time when you feel yourself sinking you have the freedom to take off and act upon making things better.  Your success is important, but you have full control of making of it what you wish. Smile more, love more and great things will inadvertently come your way.

Copyright with thanks to MARIO CHRISTOU

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/13-common-bad-habits-that-hold-you-back-from-success.html

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Building Real Abundance

"How soon will you realize that the only thing you don’t have is the direct experience that there’s nothing you need that you don’t have?" --Ken Keyes, Jr., Handbook to Higher Consciousness 

Too often we believe that if we had "a little more of this" or "a little more of that," our lives would be better. But would they really? Real abundance comes not from without, but from deep within. Recognizing that we are already rich—rich in spirit—is where genuine abundance dwells. 

A Course in Miracles teaches us that whenever we are looking outside ourselves for anything, we will only feel more incomplete. This is referred to as "the scarcity principle" which is based upon the common belief that somehow we are incomplete and not whole just the way we are. 

And in order to fill this "hole," our insidious ego believes it must grab onto certain things and hold on for dear life: people, resources, recognition, approval, and so forth. This leads us to taking action under the ego’s direction. But since the action is based on superficial intention, it produces insignificant results leading to an even greater sense of lack. 

The ego’s doctrine is "seek but do not find," a perfect example of how glutinous the ego is and how futile its’ endless chase for seeking outside one’s self. This scenario reminds me of a book I once bought for my daughter when she was a very young girl called the "Greedy Python." The python was so greedy that he ate everything in sight, including his own tail, which inevitably led to eating himself! 

Abundance, on the other hand, is the love inside of us—that infinite wellspring where our fulfillment and peace of mind exists; the source of love within us where our genuine inspiration lives; the channel that allows our creativity to burst forth and our love to pour outward. It’s not what we do or create that matters as much as the intention behind it. 

For example, when I’m writing or painting I feel like I’m on "overflow" because joy and contentment bubble up from deep within. The finished article or painting is rewarding, but that’s not from where my real gratification comes. 

My creation is only an effect of my true creative source; it’s merely the results of the heartfelt energy I’m extending. It’s the expression of my love and creative inspiration that fulfills me. That’s why giving and receiving are the same. 

Whenever you are giving a part of yourself via a creative endeavor, discussion with your child, business accomplishment or anything else, you are also the receiver of your energy. Since we are all one, whatever you give to another, you are by definition, giving to yourself. 

In Buddhism being compassionately generous to all people is the basis for living a genuine and fulfilling spiritual life. In this same spirit of wisdom, the Buddhist teachings remind us that all of our suffering occurs from having an attachment to something outside ourselves. 

These "somethings" are what keeps us on the "wheel of suffering," the merry-go-round of external attachments that all human beings must come to terms with during their evolutionary journey. As we practice giving we are reminded that we need nothing outside ourselves, that everything we will ever need is already within. 

Some practical ways to build real abundance in your life include: 

1. Increase your willingness to give. A Course in Miracles teaches us, "Give a little more than you think you can, a little more than you feel comfortable with." The key here, is "a little more." 

Throughout each day we have numerous opportunities to give, and we grow in abundance as we act on those opportunities. Just a little stretch is all that’s required in order for us to experience a sense of true giving. 

2. Keep your intentions pure. Remember that you are always the giver and receiver. Most people unconsciously give to get something in return: appreciation, recognition, payment, etc. Be willing to give to others in a way that you would want to be given to. 

Before you give, ask yourself, What am I doing this for?" If the answer is "Because I want to give, just to give, and I expect nothing in return," and you mean it, then trust that your intention is pure of heart. 

3. Practice receiving with graciousness. So many times, we discount compliments or refuse to receive what another wants to give. Low self-worth convinces us we don’t deserve the compliment or gift, or distrust tells us that if we receive something, we’ll be obligated. 

It’s important to remember that you cannot truly give if you’re unwilling to receive, for they compliment each other like a hand and glove. All of us are connected with every living thing and our interdependence is the sacred web of life we exist within. 

4. Give in those situations where you feel the most lack. In what area of your life do you feel the most scarcity? For some it’s money, recognition or approval, for others it’s time, and still for others it is love, affection or companionship. Determine where you feel the greatest lack then allow it to come fully into your awareness. 

These areas are your greatest opportunities for practicing abundance because the place you most need to give is the area in which you are feeling the most lack. The initial reaction, of course, is to grab on even harder and faster, but that will only take you further into the quicksand of emptiness. Ask Spirit for guidance, then be willing to give. 

The results are truly miraculous. As you begin giving in situations where you once felt lack, your giving will fill you up until there’s no more room for anything but a sense of completion and abundance. Be gentle with yourself and validate yourself for reaching out instead of pulling back. 

To read the rest of the article go to
http://getmotivation.com/prosperity/abundance-lhyde.htm
© Copyright Laura V. Hyde. All Rights Reserved. 

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Achieving Your Goals

How closely do you need to plan your action steps in advance when it comes to setting goals and achieving them?

When you set a goal, do you need to be able to see every step on the road ahead, or is it enough to focus on the end result and let the intermediate steps evolve along the way? This is a key question and you will find varying opinions expressed by different experts on personal goals.

I've tried both strategies and, in my view, it's best not to specify all the small steps you are going to have to take to achieve your desired goal.

Why?

Well, I'm assuming that you have set a new goal - one that you haven't successfully achieved before. If you've never done it before, you're not likely to know all the logical steps you need to take.

Even if you read a book explaining what to do, there will still be a learning curve.

THE LEARNING CURVE

So what is this learning curve you face whenever setting goals and achieving them?

If I have a question on goal setting, I usually go back to that classic book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Matltz. Maltz explains that we have an automatic success mechanism in our brains.

However, this mechanism is not in the part of the brain we use for everyday logical thinking. The learning curve involves a trial and error process using both your logical conscious mind and your creative unconscious mind.

Here is what Maxwell Maltz advises:

• Use the conscious forebrain to set a goal
• Think about how to achieve it
• Cultivate a burning desire to achieve the goal by consciously thinking about it
• Relax and let the unconscious mind find the best way to achieve the goal
• Take action

As you can see, some of these points involve logical conscious thinking, whereas others require you to trust your unconscious mind.

The strategy of letting your unconscious mind come up with possible solutions needs to be followed continuously - not just when you set your goal.

This enables you to climb the learning curve and gradually make progress towards your desired result.

A key point is not to jam your creative mechanism by over anxiety about success or failure, or worrying that you don't have the answer.

Assume that the answer is out there and that, if you relax, the answer will find its way from your unconscious mind and make itself known to you.

• Visualize your goal as if it is already in existence and believe it to be so
• Focus on the goal - the end result - and do not worry about how to get there
• Take action and, when you make mistakes, simply correct your course
• Continue with actions that move you towards your goal, and let go of what isn't working
• Trust your unconscious creative mind to find the answers

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How Desire Becomes Reality

It’s time to learn the art of conscious image-making It can improve health, heighten self esteem, and even forge the person whom you long to become in the future. All you need is a simple notebook in which to record your intentions, goals and experience plus 15 to 20 minutes a day to practice the art. This can be a lot of fun.

Powers Of The Mind
Creative imagery is the deliberate, repeated use of specific mental images, while in a deeply relaxed state or meditative state, to bring about change for the better. Just how creative imagery works has never been fully defined. It does, however, appear that the images one chooses to focus on when repeatedly held in the mind are able to affect one’s body, emotions, and mind through the autonomic nervous system. Some of the process, at least, is explainable in biological and energetic terms.

When a thought or image is kept in the mind of someone in a state of deep relaxation, his or her brain shows neuronal activity in both right and left hemispheres. Nerve fibers leading from the cerebral hemisphere through the hypothalamus can directly affect the autonomic nervous system and the pituitary gland as well as the adrenal cortex. Everyone has had experience of this image-making to some extent in day-to-day life. For instance, if you keep a frightening image in your mind’s eye—say of a ghost, a fantastic monster, or a situation you want at all costs to avoid—your body will respond via the autonomic nervous system with a racing heartbeat, perspiration, dryness in the mouth, or goose flesh.

Trust The Game

Although the mechanism of creative imagery is highly complex, putting it to use is simple. For just as it is unnecessary for you to know how the nervous system, in conjunction with the brain and muscles, makes it possible for you to pick up an apple and take a bite out of it in order to perform the action, so it is not necessary to understand biological theories about creative imagery in order to practice it to your benefit. The imaging mechanism of your brain works automatically; all you have to do is provide it with images that are useful to you and let it do its job.

Nor do you have to worry about whether or not you believe in creative imagery or whether or not you can do it well enough for it to work for you. If there is a goal that you want to achieve, you need simply to visualize it—again and again, at least twice a day; the rest is automatic, so long as your goal is something you consciously consider to be feasible. It would be absurd, for instance, to lie down for ten minutes each morning and afternoon and visualize yourself as an eagle. You might improve your imagination no end, you might also develop a great empathy for eagles, but it unlikely that you would develop wings or a beak.

Nor need you worry about success or failure. You must learn to trust your creative mechanism to do its work and not `jam it’ by becoming too concerned or too anxious as to whether it will work or not, or by attempting to force it too much by conscious effort. You must let it work, rather than make it work. This trust is necessary because your creative mechanism operates below the level of consciousness.”

The only real “trust” needed for it to work is that which makes it possible for you to spend time repeatedly practicing creative imagery. You do this by letting yourself go into a state of deep relaxation or meditation and then repeating your chosen image again and again over a sufficient length of time for it to take hold in your unconscious and begin producing results. You certainly don’t have to trust it in the sense of believing in it for it to work. It will work whether you believe it or not. Just be consistent in using the technique regularly. 

Prepare The Way

Begin by learning to just let go. Creative imagery is an inner state of mind. To visualize effectively you need to put yourself into a calm, relaxed state in which mental images flow easily. Generally the more relaxed you are, the more successful your visualizations will be. This kind of relaxation is something that is learned gradually by practice. Even if you feel in the beginning that you are hardly relaxed at all, you will get benefits from your imaging and this will become progressively more true as you repeatedly practice visualization.

Begin by lying down, or sitting in a comfortable chair, with your back well supported. Use a simple practice such as zazen or gentle, quiet deep breathing to let go of daily concerns and enter your private world. When you feel yourself quietly calm resting in your own inner space, there are several things you can do:

1. In this space, you can examine in a new light any question that has been bothering you. You have access to the deeper layers of your mind where many answers can be found, provided you are willing to ask the questions simply and then just wait in stillness for the answer to come.
2. This place is also where you can become aware of your belief systems and bring them to consciousness so that you can examine them in a detached, objective way and see whether they are working for you or not. You can then decide what you want to keep and what your want to leave behind.
3. It is a place where you can learn to listen to the sound of your inner voice. The more you do this, the easier it becomes. This inner voice can guide you to where you are going next and tell you what you are about.
4. It is a place where you can come to know yourself for who you really are, quite apart from roles and habitual assumptions you have always had about yourself.
5. Most important of all in bringing about change, you can use this inner space to practice creative imagery.

Go through your relaxation technique until you enter your inner space. Now you are ready to begin visualizing. You can do this in two ways: verbally, by simply repeating over and over a few words that describe the image, or visually, by simply seeing yourself as already having become what you want to be.

For some, who at first experience difficulty in visualizing, the verbal method works better; for others, the visual method is more successful. Try them both and see which you prefer. Later on, after you are familiar with the use of creative imagery, you will probably want to use both.

Focus On Your Desire

Let’s say you pick as your goal the desire “I want to have more energy.” Using the verbal method, turn the wish into a positive statement. It becomes “Every day I am more and more energetic and well.” It is important that your goal be phrased in this way. It has to be in the present tense—not “One day I will be better” or “I hope that I will be more energetic,” but Every day I am more and more energetic and well. It is happening now. Your subconscious mind, which holds the power to bring about change, does not function in terms of time and space as your conscious mind does. It understands only the simplest and most direct instructions, and when they are given it works as if they had already occurred or are occurring now.

The words you have chosen become your image. You put them to work by simply repeating the words over and over again silently to yourself while you are in the deeply relaxed state in your inner space. It is the constant replaying of the message day after day twice a day that works best, not how long you do it each time you relax. One convenient way of doing it is to repeat the directions ten times in each session, moving one of your fingers with each repetition until you have been through all ten. Then you simply say to yourself the same, “I am now going to come out of my inner space…(by counting backwards from three, etc.) and open your eyes. The best time for most women to practice creative visualization is in bed at night just before they fall asleep, and then again in the morning just before they get up. But really you can do it anytime—whenever you can find ten minutes to yourself in the middle of the day, or in the middle of the night if you awaken, or during meditation. The important thing is to do it regularly twice a day every day. You needn’t worry about doing it wrong, either. Because, in truth, there is no wrong way, and every supposed wrong in the way you are doing the technique will gradually put itself right with practice.

Watch It Happen

If you prefer, you can use a visual way instead, or you can use a combination of both. Picking the same goal, I want to have more energy, go through your relaxation technique. When you are at the inner space, instead of repeating words let your mind play with the image of your goal as if it had actually come about already, almost like a daydream. In other words, see yourself moving through your day, relating to people, doing your work, playing games, all the while full of vitality and bounce.

Watch yourself in your imagination and enjoy the ease with which you do things that once seemed difficult or tiring. Notice the glow of your skin, how well you look; see the vivacity in the way you speak and move. Watch yourself and enjoy it. The more of it you let yourself imagine and the more you enjoy your imaginings, the stronger will be the images you are creating and the more quickly they will become reality. But as with the verbal instructions, always keep your images in the present as if they are actually happening now and not as if they might happen in the future or are something you would like to see happen.

You may find at some point that something or someone is interfering with your image. For instance, you might find that as you watch yourself moving about energetically through the day in your mind’s eye, another figure appears—say an old woman—who speaks to you. Perhaps she says something like, “You silly girl, if you don’t slow down you know you will exhaust yourself or make yourself ill.” Or, “Why are you pretending to be full of energy when you know that you are really tired?” and so on. Pause for a moment and take a look at the figure.

Who is she? Your mother? A friend who tends to be negative about everything you try? The voice of a belief system from inside you which, without your being aware of it, has been telling you for years that you are tired?

Answer the figure back. Tell her quietly but firmly in your mind, “No, you are wrong. I am well and I have lots of energy. I also know how to use it wisely. I will rest and look after myself when I need to, I will eat well, I will enjoy what I do. I will be happy with my vitality.” Then go on with your visualization. Unexpected intrusions like this while you are visualizing are often very useful, for they help make you aware of belief systems and notions that may have been unconsciously impeding your progress towards a goal.

Then, when you have practiced your visualization for, say, five or ten minutes, tell yourself you are going to count backwards from three and open your eyes.

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A Positive Mental Attitude

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

For years I lived an uneventful existence. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t unhappy either. I was just sort of stuck.

I had a good career, earned lots of money, and I had great friends and a loving family. You would think that this doesn’t sound too bad, but I felt unfulfilled and unmotivated. I repeatedly lived each day like the one before.

I looked around me and saw that everybody within my own circle of friends, relatives, and immediate family were no different. They too seemed stuck. They seemed unmotivated—like they were living their lives on automatic pilot.

I began to question why this was. Why do so many people just accept this pattern as normal, as if this is the way it is supposed to be?

I read hundreds of books on philosophy, psychology, and spirituality. I continued with this for a couple of years untilI gradually I began to see things with greater clarity. I began to wake up. Then one day, out of the blue it just hit me, like a ton of bricks.

The key to unlocking my prison door was not contained in any books I read (although they did help me somewhat). It was in my ability to accept what “is” in this moment. So I now I make that choice.

Here are  tips to help you make that choice:

1. Remember that you are powerful.

Most of the time we have no idea what we are supposed to be doing, or who we are supposed to be imitating. I say “imitating” because this is what we do: We conform to the external environment.

We play roles and cover up our true selves by identifying with “things” that end up defining who we think we are. I’m a doctor, a salesperson, a secretary, a lawyer; I’m sad, happy, lonely, or miserable. Im angry, jjealous, afraid, and I can’t help it—it’s who I am.

The truth is, though, we are none of those things. They are symptoms of the sleepwalking disease. You are more important than any label. We are not our professions. We are not our feelings. We are not our circumstances. We are not even our mind.

What we are is far greater, far superior, far more important, and far more mysterious than our conceptual mind tries to define. This is why we are far more powerful than we think we are.

2. Choose to embrace life.

Let go and embrace the moment, whether it contains an obstacle or an opportunity. Stop fussing over trivial matters and start focusing on what’s really important to you.

Don’t go through life expecting things to change. Life becomes hard and unfair when we decide to complain about things rather than trying to change them ourselves. Wake up to the truth that life is not a practice-run.

Be bold and courageous, and make decisions that benefit your growth. Put yourself on your imaginary death-bed and realize that time stands still for no one. Start as soon as possible to make any necessary changes you may need to.

Take the first step before more time gradually passes by while you stand still stagnating. Your choice. Your life. Your responsibility. Your power.

3. Realize that you get to control your reactions.

We create our outside reality by the thoughts and beliefs we maintain about life in general. What we believe in our inner world, we see in our outer world—not the other way around.

We all have problems, and we’re often tested by circumstances outside of our control. Even though you may not be in control of what’s going on outside of you, you most definitely can control your reaction to those situations.

We have the power because our inner world (cause) affects the influence we allow the outer world (effect) to have on us. So next time you hear somebody mention that you have great personal power, know they are 100% correct. You have more control than you think.

4. Know that no one is better qualified.

We place far too much emphasis on other people’s opinions about us, often to the exclusion of our own. This takes away from our own personal power. No matter what anybody says about you, it doesn’t hold any significance to who you truly are unless you identify or agree with them.

Stop identifying with other people’s opinions and become aware of how you see yourself. Nobody knows you better than you do. Never accept another person’s reality as your own. Always believe that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. And, most importantly, never let another person’s opinion of you affect what you believe about yourself.

5. Believe that you are more than enough.

If you have to compare yourself to someone else, let it be a person who is less fortunate, and let it be a lesson to learn just how abundant your life truly is. It’s just a matter of perspective.

You may find that you are not entirely grateful for what you possess. You may believe that you need more than you have right now to be happy. If this is the case, then you are absolutely right—you will need more, and you will continue to need more.

This cycle will perpetuate as long as your mind believes it to be true. If you focus on what you have, and not on what you lack, you will always have enough, because you will always be enough.

6. Love yourself.

You have arrived. Everything you need is right here. Cut out the distractions, open your eyes, and see that you already have everything in your possession to be happy, loved, and fulfilled.

It’s not out there. It never was out there. It’s in the same place it was since the day you were born. It’s just been covered up by all the external things you have identified with over the years.

Be yourself. Love yourself completely and accept everything that you are. You are beautiful. Believe it, and most importantly, remind yourself often.

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http://tinybuddha.com/blog/8-tips-to-help-create-a-positive-mental-attitude/

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