Stop Fearing Rejection

There was a time when being rejected by the group could be life threatening. Imagine living thousands of years ago. People relied on each other just to stay alive. That fear still resides within us, even though it is no longer necessary.

Just because the fear of rejection is no longer useful it does not mean it is easy to overcome.

The fear of rejection is among the most influential of all fears. The fear of others judging you can be very limiting.

These strategies will help you let go of fear and welcome greater confidence and joy.

What is the worst that can happen?  If you ask out that pretty woman, what is the worst likely outcome? Do you think she might say, “No”? Odds are that it will not even be that bad. She will probably find an excuse to let you down gently. Then again, she might say “Yes”!

If you go for a job interview and do not get the job, what do you stand to lose? A few hours of your time! 

Interestingly, the scariest situations often have little to no risk, but a huge potential for something good to happen. What are you really risking? 

Make of list of the positive potential outcomes. That beautiful stranger might turn out to be your soulmate. That new job might be the best job you have ever had. Make a list of everything good that might happen.

Take a deep breath. Your body can lead your emotions. Deep breathing oxygenates your blood and slows your heart rate. Deep breathing feels good. Focus on your breathing and remove your focus away from your fear.

You may also want to consider performing a meditation exercise. Meditations work wonders when it comes to soothing our nerves, especially when combined with deep breathing exercises.

Act anyway.  Fear and discomfort are bad excuses for not doing something, provided your life is not in danger. Your subconscious is really bad at judging the effects of emotional threats. You have nothing to lose. Allow your logic to overrule the uncomfortable feelings you are experiencing. With practice, your body will adjust and stop making you feel bad.

Remember that the world tends to make erroneous rejections. Many college basketball teams rejected Larry Bird. Many bestselling novels were rejected numerous times before someone finally published them. Even the Beatles struggled to get a record deal.

The fools that do not know any better reject even the most talented people.

Examine previous rejections. Consider the times in your life that you have been rejected. Was it horrible? What did you experience? Now consider your successes. Was your greatest success worth the greatest rejection you have suffered? Of course it was.

The fear is the worst part. The rejection itself is much less painful than the anticipation of rejection. Keep your thoughts focused on a positive outcome. You can sneak around the fear of rejection and enjoy greater success.

Give yourself the opportunity to be wrong. Most of us are much worse at predicting the future than we think we are. Even if you are quite sure you will be rejected, you will frequently be wrong. Instead of assuming you know the truth, prove yourself right or wrong by taking the leap. Let the world decide. Never assume you will fail. Prove it.

Use rejection as an opportunity for growth. When things do not work out, you have been provided with an occasion to learn something valuable. What can you do better next time? What mistakes did you make?

Avoid allowing the fear of failure to control your actions. An exciting and fulfilling life requires risk and hope. Allow yourself to fail, but avoid allowing the belief of failure to paralyse you. You never know the outcome until you try. You might surprise yourself and end up enjoying the best thing that ever happened to you!

With thanks to Sean May https://www.scienceofimagery.com/9-ways-vanquish-fear-rejection/

Learn to speak the Language of the Universe!

Deal With Irritation In A Positive Way

Control your irritation when others push your buttons.

Do you let people upset you? When someone is trying to upset you the worst thing that you can do is oblige them.

There is always that one person that knows how to get under your skin.

By rewarding their behaviour, you encourage the same thing to happen again in the future.

Take control of the situation by taking control of yourself.

Consider why they are trying to upset you. Does the other person dislike you? Are they trying to be funny? Is it about control? What is the purpose of their behaviour? Once you know the motivation, you will be in a better position to choose your response.

Remove the reward. If they are trying to be funny, tell them you do not appreciate it. If they are simply trying to upset you, smile and move on. When they do not get the reaction they are looking for, they will usually stop.

 Stay calm. You are bigger than a few harsh or mean-spirited words. It is just sound, not unlike a refuse lorry rolling down the street. Take a deep breath, think about something pleasant, and move on. Calming yourself is a skill. Practice as much as possible. Soon, nothing will be able to upset you.

Consider how serious you need to be. If the behaviour is inappropriate and you are at work, consider speaking with your boss or human resources. Do you need to contact the police? Take the necessary steps to ensure your safety is maintained.

Consider if you are at fault in any way. Do you complain or whine excessively? Are you unreasonably fussy? Then you will probably draw some unwanted comments, fair or not. Do you pick on others? Some observers might decide to even the score.

Stick up for yourself. It is possible that the other person does not realise that they are upsetting you. Speak up for yourself and let them know how you feel. No one can read your mind. Take responsibility for letting others know how you want to be treated. Many bullies will stop if they face any resistance.

Deal with your buttons. They are your buttons after all. Why are you so sensitive about this issue? What can you do to remove all the emotion surrounding it? Your personal buttons are your responsibility to deal with. Enjoy the freedom that comes from eliminating them.

Realise that harmful comments come from personal pain. People are mean when they are hurting in some way. Try to feel compassion for the other person and avoid taking the comments seriously. Some people erroneously believe they can make themselves feel better by making others feel worse.

Leave the situation. Take time out if you are very upset. It happens. Take a break and give yourself a few minutes to regroup. Everyone needs a time-out on occasion. Go back with a calm mind and refreshed attitude.

It is no fun when others are trying to get a rise out of you. However, you do not have to get upset when someone else tries to annoy you. Take control of the situation and your emotions. Do what you can to discourage the other person. Maintain your composure and choose your response wisely. You will find that others are pushing your buttons less and less and therefore you will become less and less irritated.

With thanks to Sean May https://www.scienceofimagery.com/top-10-ways-react-irritation/

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Create Goals To Make Your Life Better

Much has been written about the importance of setting goals to achieve success, however, it is an important strategy when wondering how to make life better for yourself. To improve your life you need to know what is important to you, what things you want to achieve and how you are going to go about achieving them.

You would not set out to build a house without first deciding what materials to use and what design you want. Your life is no different, you need to know what you want, but, you also need a plan to help you build it right. Establishing goals will be a major step in achieving what you want in life. You cannot, and will not, get what you want if you do not know what it is you want.

Before you can set your life goals, you need to have worked out what is important to you. When you know what is important, you then need to turn these things into a priority list with the most important at the top. This list of your priorities in life will form the blueprint for setting your life goals. It will also form the benchmark against which you will measure your achievements and help to keep you on track.

As your life plan unfolds and you go about the business of achieving your goals, you can keep referring back to your priority list to make sure that your actions are in line with what you decided is important to you. In the busyness and frustrations of life, it is all too easy to lose sight of what is really important. It is imperative that you continually check those priorities to make sure you are still on track. Unfortunately, it is so easy to get off the track. Regularly ask yourself the question “Is what I am doing going to achieve what I wanted with this aspect of my life? Is it impacting negatively with any other areas of my life?”

For example, if your career is a priority for you, think about how you want your career to develop, what you want to achieve in your working life and what steps and strategies will you need to put in place to achieve what you want. The best goals are specific, so fill in the fine detail as you are making these decisions. When do you want that promotion? Who do you want to work for? When do you want to be earning that salary figure? When do you want to achieve that success? How will you achieve that? Knowing what you want is not enough; you need to also work out the when, why, how, who and where of your goals. This information then forms the backbone of your life plan.

Maybe family is a top priority for you, so you need to think about what family actually means to you. If health is a priority, what does good health look like to you? How will you go about achieving the level of health that you want? If having a secure financial future is on your priority list, what exactly does that mean to you in financial terms and how will you be able to achieve it? How much will you need to live the life you want. How much will you need for a comfortable retirement?

This is a very personal process. Your priorities will be unique to you and so will your goals and life plan. So do not compare your plan with anyone else and do not judge your success by comparing with anyone else either. Your life is your journey. If you have determined your priorities, set your own goals and worked out a plan. Then the results are in your hands. Do not be tempted to give over control of your life to another person. That is a recipe for disaster and unhappiness.

Once you have set the goals for your life and developed a plan for achieving those goals, you can relax about how your life is going to turn out. You have made the important decisions so now you can put all your thought and effort into working the plan and achieving the goals. You get to enjoy the life you are creating without the stress and worry about what you have to do.

It is a good idea to review your goals from time to time. As we live, we grow. As we grow, we change. The goals we make when we are twenty may not fit when we are thirty. Our priorities can change just like our circumstances. As we live the life we planned, new ideas and opportunities can come up. So be prepared to review, tweak and change your priorities, goals and plans.

You also have to be prepared for the unexpected because, things happen in life which are not in the plan. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the goals do not go to plan. How you deal with this will have a big impact on your ability to regroup, alter your plan and get on with making your life better again. Use your goals as a basis for developing a new plan for your life and establish new goals if necessary.

However, life can change. Sometimes everything that you have planned can go out the window. Then you have to reassess, set new goals and make a new plan on how to move forward with your life. It is wonderful how life throws us curve balls from time to time.

It can also help if you write a personal mission statement. It can take a while to create a mission statement, but, the exercise can give you a great insight into where you want to take your life. Definitely consider doing this, it can bring a clear direction into your life.

Enjoy the process of making your life better by setting goals. Regularly check up on whether you are staying on track by asking yourself, "If what I am doing is keeping me aligned with my goals and taking me in the direction of the life I have dreamed."

With thanks to the owner of Prairie Thrifter http://prairieecothrifter.com/2013/08/life-setting-goals.html

Happy New Year may all you goals be achieved in 2017

This will help you achieve your goals in record time