Developing Resilience

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.– American inventor, Thomas Edison

According to legend, Thomas Edison made thousands of prototypes of the incandescent light bulb before he finally got it right. And, since the prolific inventor was awarded more than 1,000 patents, it's easy to imagine him failing on a daily basis in his lab at Menlo Park.

In spite of struggling with "failure" throughout his entire working life, Edison never let it get the best of him. All of these "failures," which are reported to be in the tens of thousands, simply showed him how not to invent something. His resilience gave the world some of the most amazing inventions of the early 20th century, such as the phonograph, the telegraph, and the motion picture.

It's hard to imagine what our world would be like if Edison had given up after his first few failures. His inspiring story forces us to look at our own lives – do we have the resilience that we need to overcome our challenges? Or do we let our failures derail our dreams? And what could we accomplish if we had the strength not to give up?

In this article, we'll examine resilience: what it is, why we need it, and how to develop it; so that we have the strength and fortitude to overcome adversity, and to keep on moving forward towards our dreams and our goals.

The Importance of Resilience

Resilience (or resiliency) is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things don't go as planned. Resilient people don't wallow or dwell on failures; they acknowledge the situation, learn from their mistakes, and then move forward.

There are three elements that are essential to resilience:

1. Challenge – Resilient people view a difficulty as a challenge, not as a paralyzing event. They look at their failures and mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities for growth. They don't view them as a negative reflection on their abilities or self-worth.
2. Commitment – Resilient people are committed to their lives and their goals, and they have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning. Commitment isn't just restricted to their work – they commit to their relationships, their friendships, the causes they care about, and their religious or spiritual beliefs.
3. Personal Control – Resilient people spend their time and energy focusing on situations and events that they have control over. Because they put their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident. Those who spend time worrying about uncontrollable events can often feel lost, helpless, and powerless to take action.

The way that we explain setbacks to ourselves is also important. Talk in terms of optimism and pessimism rather than resilience, however, the effect is essentially the same. This "explanatory style" is made up of three main elements:

• Permanence – People who are optimistic (and therefore have more resilience) see the effects of bad events as temporary rather than permanent. For instance, they might say "My boss didn't like the work I did on that project" rather than "My boss never likes my work."
• Pervasiveness – Resilient people don't let setbacks or bad events affect other unrelated areas of their lives. For instance, they would say "I'm not very good at this" rather than "I'm no good at anything."
• Personalization – People who have resilience don't blame themselves when bad events occur. Instead, they see other people, or the circumstances, as the cause. For instance, they might say "I didn't get the support I needed to finish that project successfully," rather than "I messed that project up because I can't do my job."

There are several further attributes that are common in resilient people:

Resilient people have a positive image of the future. That is, they maintain a positive outlook, and envision brighter days ahead.

• Resilient people have solid goals, and a desire to achieve those goals.
• Resilient people are empathetic and compassionate, however, they don't waste time worrying what others think of them. They maintain healthy relationships, but don't bow to peer pressure.
• Resilient people never think of themselves as victims – they focus their time and energy on changing the things that they have control over.

How we view adversity and stress strongly affects how we succeed, and this is one of the most important reasons that having a resilient mindset is so important.

The fact is that we're going to fail from time to time: it's an inevitable part of living that we make mistakes and occasionally fall flat on our faces. The only way to avoid this is to live a shuttered and meager existence, never trying anything new or taking a risk. Few of us want a life like that!

Instead, we should have the courage to go after our dreams, despite the very real risk that we'll fail in some way or other. Being resilient means that when we do fail, we bounce back, we have the strength to learn the lessons we need to learn, and we can move on to bigger and better things.

Overall, resilience gives us the power to overcome setbacks , so that we can live the life we've always imagined.

Developing Resilience

The good news is that even if you're not a naturally resilient person, you can learn to develop a resilient mindset and attitude. To do so, incorporate the following into your daily life:

• Get enough sleep  and exercise, and learn to manage stress. When you take care of your mind and body, you're better able to cope effectively with challenges in your life.
• Practice thought awareness. Resilient people don't let negative thoughts derail their efforts. Instead, they consistently practice positive thinking. Also, "listen" to how you talk to yourself when something goes wrong – if you find yourself making statements that are permanent, pervasive or personalized, correct these thoughts in your mind.
• Practice Cognitive Restructuring  to change the way that you think about negative situations and bad events.
• Learn from your mistakes and failures. Every mistake has the power to teach you something important; so don't stop searching until you've found the lesson in every situation. Also, make sure that you understand the idea of "post-traumatic growth" – there can be real truth in the saying that "if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger."
• Choose your response. Remember, we all experience bad days and we all go through our share of crises. But we have a choice in how we respond; we can choose to react negatively or in a panic, or we can choose to remain calm and logical to find a solution. Your reaction is always up to you.
• Maintain perspective. Resilient people understand that, although a situation or crisis may seem overwhelming in the moment, it may not make that much of an impact over the long-term. Try to avoid blowing events out of proportion.
• If you don't already, learn to set effective personal goals  – it's incredibly important to set and achieve goals, and to learn from your experiences.
• Build your self confidence  . Remember, resilient people are confident that they're going to succeed eventually, despite the setbacks or stresses that they might be facing. This belief in themselves also enables them to take risks: when you develop confidence and a strong sense of self, you have the strength to keep moving forward, and to take the risks you need to get ahead.
• Develop strong relationships  with your colleagues. People who have strong connections at work are more resistant to stress, and they're happier in their role. This also goes for your personal life: the more real friendships you develop, the more resilient you're going to be, because you have a strong support network to fall back on. (Remember that treating people with compassion and empathy  is very important here.)
• Focus on being flexible. Resilient people understand that things change, and that carefully-made plans may, occasionally, need to be amended or scrapped.

To read the complete article go to

http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/resilience.htm

How To Stop Worrying

Worrying can be helpful when it spurs you to take action and solve a problem. But if you’re preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem. Unrelenting doubts and fears can be paralyzing. They can sap your emotional energy, send your anxiety levels soaring, and interfere with your daily life. But chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more positive perspective.

Why is it so hard to stop worrying?

Constant worrying takes a heavy toll. It keeps you up at night and makes you tense and edgy during the day. You hate feeling like a nervous wreck. So why is it so difficult to stop worrying?

For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the beliefs—both negative and positive—they hold about worrying.

On the negative side, you may believe that your constant worrying is harmful, that it’s going to drive you crazy or affect your physical health. Or you may worry that you’re going to lose all control over your worrying—that it will take over and never stop.

On the positive side, you may believe that your worrying helps you avoid bad things, prevents problems, prepares you for the worst, or leads to solutions.

Negative beliefs, or worrying about worrying, add to your anxiety and keep worry going. But positive beliefs about worrying can be just as damaging. It’s tough to break the worry habit if you believe that your worrying protects you. In order to stop worry and anxiety for good, you must give up your belief that worrying serves a positive purpose. Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can regain control of your worried mind.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #1: Create a worry period

It’s tough to be productive in your daily life when anxiety and worry are dominating your thoughts. But what can you do? If you’re like many chronic worriers, your anxious thoughts feel uncontrollable. You’ve tried lots of things, from distracting yourself, reasoning with your worries, and trying to think positive, but nothing seems to work.

Why trying to stop anxious thoughts doesn’t work

Telling yourself to stop worrying doesn’t work—at least not for long. You can distract yourself or suppress anxious thoughts for a moment, but you can’t banish them for good. In fact, trying to do so often makes them stronger and more persistent.

You can test this out for yourself. Close your eyes and picture a pink elephant. Once you can see the pink elephant in your mind, stop thinking about it. Whatever you do, for the next five minutes, don’t think about pink elephants!

How did you do? Did thoughts of pink elephants keep popping in your brain?

“Thought stopping” backfires because it forces you to pay extra attention to the very thought you want to avoid. You always have to be watching for it, and this very emphasis makes it seem even more important.

But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to control your worry. You just need to try a different approach. This is where the strategy of postponing worrying comes in. Rather than trying to stop or get rid of an anxious thought, give yourself permission to have it, but put off thinking any more about it until later.

Learning to postpone worrying:

1. Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day (e.g. in the living room from 5:00 to 5:20 p.m.) and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind. The rest of the day, however, is a worry-free zone.
2. Postpone your worry. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it on paper and postpone it to your worry period. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now. Save it for later and continue to go about your day.
3. Go over your “worry list” during the worry period. Reflect on the worries you wrote down during the day. If the thoughts are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for your worry period. If the worries don’t seem important any more, cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day.

Postponing worrying is effective because it breaks the habit of dwelling on worries in the present moment. Yet there’s no struggle to suppress the thought or judge it. You simply save it for later. As you develop the ability to postpone your anxious thoughts, you’ll start to realize that you have more control over your worrying than you think.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #2: Ask yourself if the problem is solvable

Research shows that while you’re worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious. Running over the problem in your head distracts you from your emotions and makes you feel like you’re getting something accomplished. But worrying and problem solving are two very different things.

Problem solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with concrete steps for dealing with it, and then putting the plan into action. Worrying, on the other hand, rarely leads to solutions. No matter how much time you spend dwelling on worst-case scenarios, you’re no more prepared to deal with them should they actually happen.

Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries

If a worry pops into your head, start by asking yourself whether the problem is something you can actually solve. The following questions can help:

• Is the problem something you’re currently facing, rather than an imaginary what-if?
• If the problem is an imaginary what-if, how likely is it to happen? Is your concern realistic?
• Can you do something about the problem or prepare for it, or is it out of your control?

Productive, solvable worries are those you can take action on right away. For example, if you’re worried about your bills, you could call your creditors to see about flexible payment options. Unproductive, unsolvable worries are those for which there is no corresponding action. “What if I get cancer someday?” or “What if my kid gets into an accident?”

If the worry is solvable, start brainstorming. Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Try not to get too hung up on finding the perfect solution. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control. After you’ve evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you’ll feel much less worried.

Dealing with unsolvable worries

But what if the worry isn’t something you can solve? If you’re a chronic worrier, the vast majority of your anxious thoughts probably fall in this camp. In such cases, it’s important to tune into your emotions.

As previously mentioned, worrying helps you avoid unpleasant emotions. Worrying keeps you in your head, thinking about how to solve problems rather than allowing yourself to feel the underlying emotions. But you can’t worry your emotions away. While you’re worrying, your feelings are temporarily suppressed, but as soon as you stop, the tension and anxiety bounces back. And then, you start worrying about your feelings, “What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t feel this way!”

The only way out of this vicious cycle is by learning to embrace your feelings. This may seem scary at first because of negative beliefs you have about emotions. For example, you may believe that you should always be rational and in control, that your feelings should always make sense, or that you shouldn’t feel certain emotions, such as fear or anger.

The truth is that emotions—like life—are messy. They don’t always make sense and they’re not always pleasant. But as long as you can accept your feelings as part of being human, you’ll be able to experience them without becoming overwhelmed and learn how to use them to your advantage. The following tips will help you find a better balance between your intellect and your emotions.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #3: Accept uncertainty

The inability to tolerate uncertainty plays a huge role in anxiety and worry. Chronic worriers can’t stand doubt or unpredictability. They need to know with 100 percent certainty what’s going to happen. Worrying is seen as a way to predict what the future has in store—a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work.

Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios won’t keep bad things from happening. It will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. So if you want to stop worrying, start by tackling your need for certainty and immediate answers.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #4: Challenge anxious thoughts

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.

Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain.

Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #4: Challenge anxious thoughts

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.

Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain.

Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

Stop worry by questioning the worried thought:

• What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
• Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
• What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
• If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
• Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
• What would I say to a friend who had this worry?

Worry and anxiety self-help tip # 5: Be aware of how others affect you

How you feel is affected by the company you keep, whether you’re aware of it or not. Studies show that emotions are contagious. We quickly “catch” moods from other people—even from strangers who never speak a word (e.g. the terrified woman sitting by you on the plane; the fuming man in the checkout line). The people you spend a lot of time with have an even greater impact on your mental state.

• Keep a worry diary. You may not be aware of how people or situations are affecting you. Maybe this is the way it’s always been in your family, or you’ve been dealing with the stress so long that it feels normal. You may want to keep a worry diary for a week or so. Every time you start to worry, jot down the thought and what triggered it. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns.
• Spend less time with people who make you anxious. Is there someone in your life who drags you down or always seems to leave you feeling stressed? Think about cutting back on the time you spend with that person or establish healthier relationship boundaries. For example, you might set certain topics off-limits, if you know that talking about them with that person makes you anxious.
• Choose your confidantes carefully. Know who to talk to about situations that make you anxious. Some people will help you gain perspective, while others will feed into your worries, doubts, and fears.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #6: Practice mindfulness

Worrying is usually focused on the future—on what might happen and what you’ll do about it. The centuries-old practice of mindfulness can help you break free of your worries by bringing your attention back to the present. In contrast to the previous techniques of challenging your anxious thoughts or postponing them to a worry period, this strategy is based on observing and then letting them go. Together, they can help you identify where your thinking is causing problems, while helping you get in touch with your emotions.

• Acknowledge and observe your anxious thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging.
• Let your worries go. Notice that when you don’t try to control the anxious thoughts that pop up, they soon pass, like clouds moving across the sky. It’s only when you engage your worries that you get stuck.
• Stay focused on the present. Pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment.

To read the complete article go to

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm

The Power Of Positive Emotions

All Emotions Are Natural
Let's say you start to brainstorm a list of all the emotions you've ever experienced. Just for fun, try it now.

What's on your list? Chances are, you included things like happy, sad, excited, angry, afraid, grateful, proud, scared, confused, stressed, relaxed, amazed. Now sort your list into two categories — positive emotions and negative emotions.

Feeling both positive and negative emotions is a natural part of being human. We might use the word "negative" to describe more difficult emotions, but it doesn't mean those emotions are bad or we shouldn't have them. Still, most people would probably rather feel a positive emotion than a negative one. It's likely you'd prefer to feel happy instead of sad, or confident instead of insecure.

What matters is how our emotions are balanced — how much of each type of emotion, positive or negative, we experience.

How Negative Emotions Help Us

Negative emotions warn us of threats or challenges that we may need to deal with. For example, fear can alert us to possible danger. It's a signal that we might need to protect ourselves. Angry feelings warn us that someone is stepping on our toes, crossing a boundary, or violating our trust. Anger can be a signal that we might need to act on our own behalf.

Negative emotions focus our awareness. They help us to zero in on a problem so we can deal with it. But too many negative emotions can make us feel overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, or stressed out. When negative emotions are out of balance, problems might seem too big to handle.

The more we dwell on negative emotions, the more negative we begin to feel. Focusing on negativity just keeps it going.

How Positive Emotions Help Us

Positive emotions balance out negative ones, but they have other powerful benefits, too.

Instead of narrowing our focus like negative emotions do, positive emotions affect our brains in ways that increase our awareness, attention, and memory. They help us take in more information, hold several ideas in mind at once, and understand how different ideas relate to each other.

When positive emotions open us up to new possibilities, we are more able to learn and build on our skills. That leads to doing better on tasks and tests.

People who have plenty of positive emotions in their everyday lives tend to be happier, healthier, learn better, and get along well with others.

The Importance of Positive Emotions

Science is helping us find out how valuable positive emotions can be. Experts have learned a lot from recent brain studies. Here are two findings that can help us use positive emotions to our advantage:

1. Let Positive Emotions Outnumber Negative Ones

When we feel more positive emotions than negative ones, difficult situations are easier to handle. Positive emotions build our resilience (the emotional resources needed for coping). They broaden our awareness, letting us see more options for problem solving.

Studies show that people feel and do their best when they have at least three times as many positive emotions as negative emotions. That's because of something called the negativity bias.

The negativity bias is a natural human tendency to pay more attention to negative emotions than to positive ones. It makes sense when you think about it: Negative emotions call our attention to problems — problems we might need to deal with quickly. Tuning in to negative emotions can be a survival mechanism.

The negativity bias has a downside, though: It can make us think a day went badly, not well, even if we experienced equal amounts of positive and emotions that day. It takes at least three times as many positive emotions to tip the scales and make a day seem like a great one.

2. Practice Positivity Every Day

Building habits that encourage us to feel more positive emotions can help us be happier, do better, and reduce our negative emotions. Building positive emotions is especially important if we're already dealing with a lot of negative feelings such as fear, sadness, anger, frustration, or stress.

Positive emotions feel good, and they're good for you. Pay attention to these powerful tools and find ways to make time for them in your everyday life. Create room in your day for joy, fun, friendship, relaxation, gratitude, and kindness. Make these things a habit and you positively will be a happier you!

To read the complete article go to

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/emotions/power-positive.html#

Change the Way You See Fear and Change Your Life

When was the last time you took a risk? Not something major and life-threatening, but something that represented a step outside your comfort zone. Can you recall a time recently when you did something that felt uncomfortable for you? If not, get ready to take a major step forward.

Frequently, in business and in life, we get too comfortable. We find solid ground – a place that feels safe – we get comfortable, and we settle in. We’re programmed to do it. It’s how we operate. Look for safety and stay there. But these days, it’s imperative that we act against our programming to truly succeed and find our own greatness.

What’s holding us back? Ultimately, it’s fear.  It’s almost always fear. Fear is the number one reason why people stay in their safety zones. It’s why people don’t start new businesses. It’s why people stop looking for love. But what are we afraid of? After studying fear for several years and working with countless clients who were letting fear hold them back, I’ve become convinced that when it comes down to stepping outside one’s comfort zone, there are really two things at work for most people: fear of success and fear of failure.

Fear of Success

Many people say they have a fear of success. What does this mean? It means that when these folks envision their success, they see the ways in which they’ll disappoint people, the ways they won’t be able to handle the success, the ways they’ll mess up their success… ultimately, I actually believe that a fear of success is a fear of failure in disguise. In my experience, most people aren’t actually afraid of success, but rather of failing after the success. They’re afraid they can’t handle it and they’ll fall much farther than if they’d never tried at all. It’s much more painful to fall from, say, a 20-story building, than it is to fall from a sidewalk curb. It’s the fall from the height of success that we fear, not the success itself.

Fear of Failure

Let’s look at fear of failure, since that’s at the core of what’s holding people back. I’ve recently updated my thoughts about fear of failure. I’ve been reading Seth Godin’s book, Tribes, and Godin has some absolutely profound and brilliant thoughts on the fear that keeps us in our comfort zones. InTribes, Godin says that there’s a common misconception about a fear of failure. He says that the fear of failure isn’t actually fear of failure at all – it’s a fear of criticism. We’re more afraid of being judged for our failures than anything else.

So now that we’ve isolated this fear of criticism, what does one do about it? How do you conquer the one thing that  gets in the way more than anything else- more than lack of skills, more than lack of knowledge, more than bad luck or anything else you might think of – how do you conquer fear?

How Do You Conquer Fear?

It would be easy for me to say that you just shouldn’t care what others think about you. What they say doesn’t matter, doesn’t define you, has nothing to do with you. I could easily say that. But the problem is that we’re not just subject to the criticism of others when we fail. We still have to face our harshest critic: ourselves.

But here’s the secret most people don’t know. It’s a secret that most successful people know. You don’t actually have to “conquer” fear. You have to master it. Mark Twain once said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” Successful people aren’t people who conquered fear, they’re people who faced fear. They’re people who were afraid and did it anyway.

For example, one of the most prevalent, persistent fears people have is public speaking. It’s something most of us don’t do very often and it’s something most of us don’t particularly care for. I’m one of the oddities – I actually love speaking to groups. But like many others I know who enjoy public speaking, I get nervous before I go on stage. My palms sweat, I think about how I wish I’d never agreed to do the gig, and I think of all the ways I can get out of doing it. And then I step on stage anyway, and within a few moments, I’m actually having so much fun connecting to the crowd that I forget all the fear and just live in that moment. That’s mastering fear, folks. That’s what it’s all about.

A part of it is doing something over and over and showing yourself that you can do that thing. That builds confidence and confidence is a formidable tool against fear. Usually we’re afraid of the stuff we’re not very good at. What are you afraid of?  Think about that for a minute and then when you have the answer, ask yourself how often you do that thing.  If you’re not very good at something, you tend to fear it.  If you make a decision to face the fear and forge ahead with courage, you’ll eventually make courage a habit- and you’ll master that fear.

So what’s holding you back right now?  What are you afraid of, and how can you face that fear with courage? Here’s an exercise to help people face their fears:

Take out a piece of paper and a pen and turn the paper on its side so you’re writing across the long side.  Make five columns on your paper.  In the first column, make a list of the things that scare you the most.  Then in the second column, for each of those fears, write down what is the absolute worst thing that could happen if your fears came true.  In the third column, write down how likely the worst thing is to happen.  Then in the fourth column, write down how that fear is holding you back.  In the last column,for at least one of the fears you’ve listed, write down how you are going to face that fear. Make it tangible- give yourself an action to take and a date by which you will take that action. And follow through!

Look, everybody is afraid of something. The most successful people have mastered fear with courage and learned to forge ahead.  Today, make a decision to forge ahead with something in your life or in your business.  Make a decision to face at least one of your fears. Take a risk and get better at something you’re afraid of.  Face a fear with courage and you’ll see payoffs emerging faster than you ever could  have imagined.

With thanks to Susan Baroncini-Moe

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/change-the-way-you-see-fear-and-change-your-life.html

My Higher Self - Abundance and Poverty Consciousness

There is so much fear and misunderstanding about money that even though you think you need money, you may in essence be blocking its natural flow to you.  This may have been caused by your human ego.  Your human ego may have manipulated you through poverty consciousness for a long time, and for many past lifetimes.

This may be the root of all of your issues and problems regarding money.  This poverty consciousness now has to be released to the light for clearing in this ascension lifetime.  This poverty consciousness may have caused you to be very obsessed with money, which then made you greedy and caused you to hoard money at any cost and through any means.  This is a bad vibration to have as it is based on fear;  fear of not having enough money to survive and have your needs paid for.  The human ego poverty consciousness then caused you to believe that there is not enough money for you to live in a comfortable state causing you worry, stress and anxiety (all lower vibrations).

Remember that what you think about, worry about and what you do will be manifested in your reality.  This in turn may have manifested in homelessness, hunger, and other limitations or lacks in your life regarding money and financial security.   Do not worship money or worry that it will run out or worry that you will not have enough to live.  Money is energy.  Also understand that you cannot take your money with you when you leave this life.  God’s abundance is your birthright and God’s supply has no boundaries of all things that are good and plentiful.  This includes money.

If all of this is so, then why do so many people have financial issues?  Why are so many people suffering financially?  Please understand that in this NOW, you are everything that you have ever created in all past lifetimes, as you are a multidimensional being.  This includes the collective consciousness.  This is why you may be experiencing poverty.  This is why the collective consciousness is suffering collectively financially.  Just look at what is happening in your economies around the world.  It has to come up for release; the fear, the worry, the lack.  So to eliminate your poverty thinking and lack thinking and your poverty consciousness thinking, do not vibrate with poverty consciousness.  How do you do this?

You must watch your feelings, your actions, and your words with respect to money.  Do not worry and do not have feelings and thoughts that are fear based with respect to money.  If you vibrate with poverty consciousness energy, there will be financial problems for you.  You have to raise your vibrations regarding money and poverty consciousness to abundance consciousness.  You do this with gratitude and trust.  God’s intention is for you to have abundance consciousness, not poverty consciousness.  Do not worry that you will starve, and do not worry that you will not make the payment on your mortgage or other things that are due to be paid.  Worry is a very lower dimensional vibration and lowers your consciousness level immensely.  Worrying about money is poverty consciousness and will cause you to have poverty.

Release any subconscious memories which tell you money causes you pain or that it is bad or causes you to worry about money.  You must eliminate poverty consciousness and apply abundance consciousness in your life.

Again, please stop worrying about not having enough money (This cannot be stressed enough), and focus on gratitude for the money that you do have.  This is the key and will change your outcome with respect to money.

Gratitude will bring you more of what you are grateful for into your life. Gratitude is about being thankful for everything that you receive in your life, no matter what form it takes, no matter how large or small.  It is an effective tool for showing appreciation to yourself and to others and for opening up your heart.  When you open up your heart, your consciousness rises.  If you embody gratitude and practice this in your life, it is very healing and then you will be able to tap into the flow of abundance consciousness and receive the loving vibrations of that abundance consciousness from God, namely money.  Then things may change for you financially.

Remember you are a Devine Son / Daughter of God and God does not want his children to be poor and to worry about being taken care of.  Have gratitude for all the supporting and loving people you have in your life; have gratitude for your health and for anything that is happening in your life.  Have gratitude for all the beings around you, the plants, the trees, the animals, the birds, everything that has a consciousness (even that ant crossing the driveway).  All are part of One Consciousness and all are here to learn.  Honor ALL life.  Do not be mad that you do not have enough money or that you can’t pay the bills.  Remember that you are manifesting your thoughts and emotions.  If you think you are poor, the universe will give you more of it.  When you are truly able to feel this gratitude in your heart, then it will enable you to receive love in your heart and thus move past a lot of negative emotions, and money will start to flow for you.

For as long as you are in a state of gratitude, then abundance will pour into your lives as will love.  God and the Universe support you and you are always guided.  No matter how bad things appear to you financially, if you can come into your heart and reach a space of gratitude from your heart, then doors will open up, you will be guided and the way will be clear for you to the next step in your life.  But just like you are practicing gratitude, you must also practice trust.  When you ask for something and if it does not come right away, do not get mad or discouraged.  Trust with all your being in full faith that what you asked for will eventually come.   You have to believe and trust and live your life as if it is already there.

Also, in order to receive, you have to give.  When you give you receive a hundred times fold.  If you have no money to give, give with your heart.  Give your time by volunteering.  It is the intent to give that matters.  Again, money is just energy and comes back to you.  When you give away money, it comes back to you.  Do not hoard it.  Trust that you will receive it back.  You will.  It is a change in attitude that is required to have abundance consciousness.

Every time you spend your money, regardless of what you buy, bless it with gratitude for the service it is providing you. Bless it for the food you receive, the utility bills that pay for your utilities, etc…Then just let it go, knowing that it is just a source of energy which will return to you.  This will not prevent the block of the flow of God’s abundance.  Understand and recognize that money is providing a service that you should accept with appreciation and gratitude. Remember that you are responsible for creating your prosperity.

If you have fear and if you have poverty consciousness, you will be poor.  The Universe will give you what you are feeling, thinking, saying and doing.  Open up to abundance consciousness to change your financial situation and have gratitude.  You will be much happier and much richer, financially and spiritually!”

With thanks to Andrew for this post go to

http://healingandlove.com/2013/03/11/my-higher-self-abundance-and-poverty-consciousness/