Replace Anger With Compassion

Compassion and Tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of Strength - Dalai Lama

When we let it, anger can take us over and change the person we are. The worst part about this is, the fact that anger is a normal part of life and a natural emotion that every person experiences. We may not be able to avoid anger, however we can replace it. The next time you feel yourself becoming angry or frustrated with a person, try defeating anger with compassion.

We seem to live in an angry world. Presidential candidates appeal to our displeasure with the way our country is and incite us to view it with angry eyes. We do not think of anger as a state we enjoy. Would you want to be angry if you had the choice to be at peace? The problem is that we do not always see peace as the alternative to anger.

Many people feel hopeless about their lives and helpless to change the things they do not like. They feel crushed by the burden of their unhappy existence. Anger seems to bring them to life. At least they can feel something even if they do not like what they feel. There is some satisfaction in knowing they can at least arouse themselves from dissatisfaction through anger all the way to rage.

The problem with a constant diet of anger is that it turns you inward to focus on your own troubles. It encourages you to feel sorry for yourself, jealous of what others have and angry at those whom you see as keeping you from attaining what you want from life. The angrier you get, the more stuck you feel. Do you recall the Uncle Remus tale about Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby? You might rage at others but nothing changes for you, at least not for the better.

What is the alternative? Anger keeps you focused on your inner torments regardless of how much you blame others for them. How about compassion as an alternative? Maybe this never occurred to you. At first glance, the relationship between anger and compassion might appear puzzling. What could these two states of mind and emotion possibly have to do with each other?

First, they have nothing in common. however, try being angry at someone and feeling compassion at the same time. We just saw what anger looks like and how it feels. How about compassion? To feel compassionate, you first need to put aside your own feelings, especially negative ones. Next, you need to open yourself to understanding what another person is feeling. You see, hear and maybe touch this person without judgment.

You are only interested in what he or she experiences. You learn a little about what it might be like to be that person. You might never have felt what this person feels or had the experiences he or she had. You listen gently to find out how it feels to be that person or what the world looks like from his or her perspective. Now you will start to understand the meaning of compassion.

It is surely time to build a global community where people can live together in mutual respect!

With thanks to Langen - 

http://www.thedailynewsonline.com/bdn06/langen-how-to-replace-your-anger-with-compassion-20151113

Learn to speak the language of the Universe - http://www.goalsandsuccess.co.uk

Turn Your Dreams Into Realities

We all dream, not only at night but throughout the day as well. 

We may not even notice it is happening at times. 

However, we should pay as much attention to our dream as

we possibly can, especially those that place us in the type

of life we truly desire.

Believe it or not, we can turn our dreams into realities.

What if we apply some of the nighttime dream work techniques
to our daytime dreams?

The first thing to do would be to remember a few things:
We all dream (at night and during the day, even if we do not
realise it).

We dream one thing that makes us uniquely human is the
ability to actively think and be intentional about how we
approach the future and evolve.
How we choose to approach our
dreams influences whether we actively transform and grow
or let inevitable change passively happen to us.

If your choice falls on the “actively transform and grow” side of
things,then you can start by making an effort to notice your
daydreams; be aware when your mind wanders and value
where it goes.

Naming anything allows us to start working with it.

This is one reason we write down dreams and also a reason why
it is a good idea to keep a dream journal.

Writing something down gives it a place to live
and forces you to describe and witness what was previously been
just a feeling, emotion or idea.

You can then start to get to the source and understand the qualities;
you can work with it and understand how to move forward now
that you have named what “it” is.

If you have a goal, vision or dream, even if it is a feeling or just the
qualities of a dream life... write it down. This can be a surprisingly
scary step because it is the first part of outwardly expressing what
has been living inside of you, even if you do not show it to anyone.

As you would work with a nighttime dream, now pay attention to the
most potent and emotionally stimulating moments of your life.

What is the energy and emotion you experience?

What are the qualities that make these moments that way?

Why are they important?

You may specifically do this for events and experiences related to
your dream or goal that you have written down, but even moments
that do not seem directly related can give you information.

What are common threads and patterns?

What questions are being asked of you?

How are you making decisions... what are the values and beliefs
underlying them?

What is the context of your life telling you about how to work
towards your dream, or maybe how you are working against it?

Is there someone you are working with to get support in pursuing
your dream?

In relationships, what qualities do you notice with the people in your
life that you want to explore, work on or release?

The most important and loved people in our life can tell us a lot about
qualities and ways of being that we value, desire or already have.

The people who trigger us the most and get under our skin can tell us
information about our own shadow qualities that we might not be aware
of.
Just as you would with a night dream, you can look for archetypes,s
symbols and imagery in your waking life.

Look at any dream, whether at night or while you are awake, as a
journey within a journey. If you continue on your current path,
where are you going?
Where do you want to go?

With thanks to Erin McElroy
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erin-mcelroy/nighttime-dream-practices_b_8829750.html

Overcoming Challenges

When life gets harder challenge yourself to be stronger

We all face tough and difficult challenges in life. Some are more difficult than others to overcome, especially when the odds are stacked against us. Going against all the odds, is something we are capable of doing. To overcome challenges you need to have that "never quit" attitude in life. 

• Motivate yourself. Say YES I CAN. The challenge should bring out the best of you in any situation. Slow it down, think the process though. Develop the attitude that there is no way you are going to fail at this. If you develop that mindset, you will get it done.
• Stay calm and cool headed. When you are facing serious troubles and problems in life. You have to recollect yourself, and calm down. You cannot panic your way through it. Take a deep breath, relax, slow it down. Think things through calmly.
• Let failure fuel and fear you in a positive way. Most people will avoid any challenge, because they are scared of failing. Running from a challenge IS failing! Everyone fails at times. It is not how many times you get knocked down that counts. It is how many times you get up in life that matter. If you fail the first, second, or third time, do not give up. Pick yourself up, and learn from why you have failed, and move on in a positive direction. 

• Simplify the problem or challenge you are facing. Break it down into small steps, and work your way to the top. You have to work from the ground up. Make the challenge easier than it is.  As you get through each step, you develop more belief you can get it done, then you will.
• Maintain being positive and confident. To overcome a challenge, you have to believe you really can do it, find all the ways to overcome it, and put it to full use and effort. People overcome all kinds of challenges everyday. Challenges are not nearly as hard as presented most the time. Depends on exactly what the challenge is. It is our own mind that is the difficult part. When you get into the mindset of doing it mentally, you will actually be able to do it. You cannot do it, until you get there mentally.

• Think the best, not the worst. What can really be the worst thing that happens if you do not overcome this challenge? Do you lose something extremely valuable? Are you afraid you will be mocked? Labeled a failure? The most successful people have been labeled these things at one point or another. How do you think they overcome challenges in their life? They have been through the process of not doing it before. Instead of staying down, they use these past experiences to help overcome them in the future. Do not let anything stick to you, then you will be able to overcome all challenges you face in your life.
• Learn from watching professional sports. As silly as it seems, sport is a great way to watch, learn, and understand how to overcome challenges. When you watch teams, players, all the time in tough spots. We get to see them overcome challenges under pressure.  Sports are a way to experience and witness that anything is possible. That anyone can overcome a great deal of difficulty to succeed in our world. As the saying goes, "anything is possible."

Copyright http://www.ehow.com/how_5058456_overcome-challenges-life.html

Believe In Yourself

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” 
― Gautama Buddha

The way we feel about ourselves greatly influences how we live.

For instance, if you are self-confident, you probably spend time with and connect with others. If you are drowning in self-doubt, you might withdraw and isolate yourself.

You also might hyper-focus on your flaws and avoid going after a promotion. You convince yourself you are simply not qualified or good enough.

If you are self-confident, however, instead of dwelling on your supposed deficiencies, you might use that energy to pursue the higher-level position, prepare for it and possibly get it. If you do not, you simply move on to the next opportunity.

It also helps us realise that “we will be OK regardless of the ups and downs we have in life."

One powerful way to build confidence is by practicing self-compassion. Self-compassion means we have our own best interests at heart. We learn to support ourselves in the same way that we would support a friend or relative.”

But this might sound utterly impossible to you, especially if you are more used to beating yourself up. Many of us treat ourselves like the enemy. We regularly judge, criticise and condemn ourselves.

Fortunately, self-compassion can be learned. Here is how.

Self Compassionate Techniques

There are many exercises for practicing self-compassion. We are all different and what is important is to find something that works for you.

1. Write a compassionate letter to yourself.

When doing this exercise,  validate your feelings and the reasons you are struggling; remember that millions of people struggle with their self-confidence; everyone struggles, in general (it simply means being human); and try to be understanding, accepting and nonjudgmental.

Write a supportive letter to yourself from the perspective of a compassionate person (someone who has your best interests and well being at heart). You can start the letter with this sentence: “I am sorry that you are having a difficult time at the moment and are struggling to build your self-confidence.”

Another option is to write a letter to yourself from an older, wiser, compassionate you. What would you say to yourself now, and what would a compassionate future look like?

2. Focus on your well-being.

 First, focus on soothing breathing” an exercise that “aims to bring calmness and a sense of inner warmth and well-being to the mind and body.

Find a place that is distraction-free; sitting in a relaxed yet alert posture and closing your eyes or lowering your gaze. Rather than counting your inhalations and exhalations, let your body find a breathing rhythm that is soothing for it. When your mind naturally wanders, gently bring it back to your practice.

Ask yourself: “What can I do for myself today that will make tomorrow a better day?” For instance, instead of mindlessly watching TV, you might go for a walk or call a friend.

3. Take action.

As you build your self-confidence, think about your goals? What would you like to work on? You can set such goals as: meeting new people, speaking in public, asking for help, stopping needless apologising, expressing your emotions to others and saying yes (or no).

Once you have your goals, break them down into small, specific steps in increasing difficulty. Next, brainstorm how you can prepare for the situation, such as practicing soothing breathing and writing a compassionate letter to yourself., Reflect on the obstacles that might come up; and how you will navigate these obstacles.

Also, include things that might be helpful for you to keep in mind before, during and after the situation. For instance, “This is going to help me learn about myself; whichever way it goes, it will help me develop my self-confidence because I will know more at the end of it.”

Remember to pick goals that are beneficial for you, not goals that you should or have to do. 

With thanks to Margarita Tartakovsky 

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/08/04/3-techniques-to-boost-your-confidence/