The Danger Of Bottling Up Your Emotions

Emotions stir inside people every day and, this silent pull ends up dictating their life.

At times, we bottle up feelings and set them aside because we cannot say what we really want to in the current situation. In certain instances, we think our emotional reaction is abnormal and that no one will understand.

We forget all about our emotions and just plan to come back to them at some point. We ignore them for as long as possible, or until our neglect leads to a total meltdown. Research has proven that suppression tends to cause more harm than good. Negative emotions can drag you down, especially when helplessness kicks in.

It leads to depression, anxiety, anger, loneliness and a slew of new problems to deal with. Your risks of serious mental and physical problems are drastically increased, the longer you bottle up your emotions.

It is a destructive habit. But, like all habits, it can be broken.

Here are a few steps to show you how to release pent up emotions and live a more positive, healthy and happy life.

Examine Your Feelings

Figure out how you feel, why that rude comment from your co-worker upset you or why driving in rush hour traffic makes you feel annoyed, and get to know what makes you tick.

Accepting and understanding your emotions will allow you to truly know yourself. This, in essence, will help you live happier and healthier.

Admit that you have emotions and that how you feel matters, rather than setting your emotions on the back burner. You may think that showing your emotions can make you look weak. In reality, however, it is denying you have emotions that does.

Prioritise

You do not want to care about what other people think.  You have probably even told yourself that you do not have an inkling or concern about their thoughts. It is simply not true. Everyone cares about what others think.

The trick is to prioritise what you care about and, most importantly, whose opinion matters.

The author Brene Brown, said it best: “When you do not care at all what anyone thinks, you lose the capacity to connect. If you are defined by what people say, you lose the courage to be vulnerable.”

If you reach one extreme or the other, you will notice a total shutdown. You will produce little, motivation will slip and you will wind up minimising your impact.

Do you really care what the supermarket cashier or your postman thinks? What about your parents, wife, children, friends or co-workers? How about your boss? Make your list and ignore what everyone excluded from the list thinks.

Learn how to Release Pent Up Emotions and Take Action

Express your emotions in calculated reactions by doing something. This is not the time for procrastination or excuses.

In step 1, you should have decided how you would like to react to specific situations or scenarios. For example, by keeping your cool or expressing your emotions in positive and proactive ways.

Although it is easier said than done, letting your frustrations out in beneficial methods can actually help keep you from hitting your breaking point. Doing is achieving. You can do all the planning in the world but you have to back it up with action. The time is now.

It is much better to let out your emotions with a hobby. Write, listen to or create music. You can pray or even meditate. All of these activities have countless studies that prove how valuable they are, especially in dealing with emotions.

You can also practice gratitude. It can help build better relationships, networks, career prospects and even belongingness.

Hundreds of studies have demonstrated how expressing gratitude can change lives. Its benefits include getting better sleep, having more energy, being happier, healthier and have more resilient days when something unexpected pops up.

Speak Up

There will be times when you will feel something is out of your control, but keep in mind that you are never helpless. Speaking your thoughts will allow you to feel like you, your ideas, dreams, goals, challenges and accomplishments matter to other people.

Ever wonder why a dream vacation is more exciting when you are telling your best friend about your plans? Or why you feel more proud about winning first place in the 4k mile run when you celebrate your accomplishment with loved ones?

The answer is simple. We need someone to care.

Do not be afraid to talk to your friends, family or even pets. If there is something bothering you, get it off your chest. Knowing how to release pent up emotions is not that hard. You just have to learn to voice your concerns, desires, and emotions. If you are not sure why you feel so miserable, talking things out can help you figure out the real issue.

Talk to nature if there is no ear available to listen or, for some reason, you are too embarrassed to tell a real human. Just drop that emotional burden and move on.

Never Stop Learning

Increasing your emotional competence does not happen overnight. You must learn and work daily to better yourself and improve your life. Keep in mind that there is always room for improvement.

Never stop learning how to grow and better yourself. The moment you do, is when you stop truly living. Life is a magical mystery and it should be enjoyed with a smile on your face.

Emotional competency does not mean you must only feel positive emotions. It also involves understanding how to better manage your emotions and why it is a never ending process. You must learn to make your life easier despite it being ever changing.

Read constantly. Keep up with your favourite self improvement sites and publications. Find authors you can relate to, perhaps with the same struggles and learn from them.

People love to share what they have learned, so be open to listening to those around you. Even if you do not entirely admire their opinions, you will still learn.

Finally, remember that it is okay to feel your emotions, that some days you do not have to be happy and that you can take control of your life. But, do not take things too far to the point that you will not go out of bed or shower for a week.

Do not let your emotions take over or linger. As much as possible, try not dwell on your problems. Address them right away and do something constructive to make the situation better before you react.

You have the power.

With thanks to Brit Haines https://www.dumblittleman.com/how-to-release-pent-up-emotions/ 

Transform Your Life By Being Open-Minded

To have an open mind means to be willing to consider or receive new and different ideas. It means being flexible and adaptive to new experiences and ideas.

Cultivating an open mind is another valuable outcome of critical thinking and reasoning.

Now more than ever, we live in a world that is constantly changing.

In order to keep up, we must be open to new experiences and new ways of looking at things. If we do not stay current we will miss out on the wonderful new technologies such as the Internet, cell phones, digital photography, ipods, that are making our lives easier and more interesting every day.

People who are open minded are willing to change their views when presented with new facts and evidence. Those who are not, and are resistant to change will find life less rewarding and satisfying, not to mention dull.

If we limit ourselves to what we know and are more comfortable with the past, we will become more and more frustrated.

Society as a whole has become more liberal, and circumstances that were not acceptable years ago are accepted now.

If we choose to approach life in the same way day after day, as well as becoming bored and uninspired, we will reduce our intellectual aptitude.

If, on the other hand, we seek new ways of doing and looking at things, we will expand our intellectual capability, find life more exciting, and broaden our experiences.

Being open-minded also helps us with problem solving. First it helps us look at more than one way to approach a problem, then we find more expansive, ways of solving it. When we give ourselves more options, better solutions are undoubtedly more available to us.

Ultimately, having an open mind helps us expand our horizons and be more diverse and interesting people.

People who are open minded:

Are more accepting of others and have fewer prejudices.

Are more optimistic and make the most of life.

Have less stress because they are open to change.

Have better problem solving skills.

Want to learn more, therefore are more interesting.

With thanks to Z. Hereford
https://www.essentiallifeskills.net/openmind.html

Never Let Anyone Dim Your Light

You know who you are. You know you are kind, genuine and bright. Full of empathy, love, gentle and gracious. Even if they failed to see it, you must never forget it.

The world is full of people who are waiting to find these qualities in a person, but some of those people will take advantage of your kindness. It can make you feel empty,  hollow and even make you forget who you are. It can also make you question yourself and know who you are working towards being. These people come into your life dressed as a friend, a colleague, a potential partner and they will enjoy these parts of you, just as you will enjoy all the wonderful parts of them. They do care, I am not saying they do not, but they will care more about how you make them feel rather than how they make you feel. They will consume you and all the emotions you make them feel and once they have had enough, once it starts to become too much, they  will let you go just as quickly as they picked you up.

They might even come back for seconds or thirds and it will be so ridiculously hard to say no because you will want to help. You do not want someone you cared for to feel sad or upset, so you will stay and let them feed off of you again.

It will feel like you are being weak, but you know truthfully that it is the purest form of your strength, to be able to help someone who hurt you, to put yourself aside and to use your best qualities to make someone else feel good about themselves. But just like the first time, once they are done using you up, they will go again. It will feel worse than the first time but it will be easier to recover from, easier to pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

Even though you are all of these wonderful things, you must also remember you are not responsible for their emotions anymore. If they choose to leave, let them. As hard as it is, do not let them come back, turn them away. It is one of the kindest things you can do for them, to allow them to use themselves, instead of another person, to alleviate whatever pain they are feeling. You have learnt how to use who you are to aid those you love, and so they must do the same. Learn when to say ‘enough is enough’. It will be the greatest gift you can give yourself.

You know who you are. You shine bright for all those who are willing to remove their shades. Never let anyone dim your sparkle because it is the only one you have got. 

With thanks to Jessica Cross  https://thoughtcatalog.com/jessica-cross/2017/08/never-let-anyone-dim-your-sparkle-because-its-the-only-one-youve-got/

Make Your Life's Journey Amazing

Do you enjoy whatever you do, or complain about everything?

Are you striving to make the most of every situation, or do you get angry, depressed and unhappy, when you face difficulties or discomfort?

You can enjoy the journey through life. It is just a matter of attitude.

When you do something you love, you most probably enjoy what you are doing. However, often, you also have to do things you do not like doing. There are always tasks, chores and duties, which you cannot avoid.

You may not love your job, your boss, or your neighbours. Sometimes, you need to meet and interact with people you do not like. What do you do when you find yourself in these situations?

Do you sulk and get angry?

Complain?

Or become unhappy?

You cannot always control circumstances, but you can change your attitude toward them.

Life is like a journey. There is always movement and change. If you cannot accept changes, and if everything bothers you, you will not enjoy the journey, and it will be tough and unpleasant.

You can sit in a train and complain about the people around you, the train, the noise, the heat or anything else. You can also try to converse with the people travelling with you, learn about them, and win new friends that might open new opportunities for you. You might also look at the scenery and enjoy it.

It is all a Matter of Attitude, which you can Learn to Change

Why not enjoy the journey through life? Even if it is sometimes tough and unpleasant, you can turn it into a pleasant one. Focus on the pleasant incidents, on the bright side, on things that develop your character.

How to Make Your Journey Through Life More Pleasant 

Discipline your mind and teach it to focus on the good and the beneficial.

Teach yourself to think more positively.

See the bright side of everything.

Focus on what you are doing, instead of letting your thoughts go wherever they want.

Imagine how you will feel after you have finished your task, chore, or whatever you are doing. 

This will take off some of the strain and complaints, and you will begin to enjoy what you are doing.

Do not focus on the difficulties, the inconvenience or the discomfort. 

The mind finds it easier to focus on the negative, but with some effort and persistence, you would be able to teach your mind to stop dwelling on it. You can teach your mind to look at the positive, useful and helpful in every situation.

Strive to focus on the benefits, the strength and power you gain, as well as the possibilities that open up to you. Though this might be difficult at first, if you persevere with this attitude, your mind will learn to focus on the positive. This will make the journey through life more pleasant.

If you do not like what you are doing, there is no reason to suffer, feel bad or get depressed. If you cannot, currently, change the situation, then try to make the most of it. Try to enjoy it and put more fun into it.

Open your mind to see a broader picture, a different viewpoint, and magically, you will find what you are doing less boring or unpleasant.

When you see life as a pleasant journey, good things start happening and new doors open.

Look at your life as a pleasant journey and you will find happiness in every situation.

With thanks to Remez Sasson https://www.successconsciousness.com/blog/tips-for-life/life-a-pleasant-journey/

Learn To Live In The Moment

Wonder and curiosity chase the future. Reflection and contemplation encompass the past. The present, however, is often lost on us. Living in the moment could change your life for the better, so why do you lose yourself to your thoughts on what is next or worry about what is happening elsewhere? Looking to the future can provide hope, especially through difficult times. Reflecting on the past can also provide healing and closure. Focusing on either one obsessively, however, quickly becomes deteriorating to our mental and emotional health.

We all seem to spend too much time thinking about the past and the future, and it is very difficult not to. It will take true mindfulness to reshape these thought patterns. What most people do not realise is just how powerful the subconscious mind actually is in forming our judgements and perceptions. This part of the brain stores memories and experiences, and therefore has access to decision making information faster than the conscious mind. Have you ever made a “gut decision” but could not quite articulate why you made this choice. It was just your instinct? Your subconscious mind is responsible for this seemingly intuitive kind of response. Your subconscious gathered enough information to be able to guide you into making the right choice.

Despite the influential subconscious mind, we still have the ability to make conscious choices. Whether it be choosing our preferences, answering questions, gathering information or communicating, we process information every day in order to make decisions. Our mind is constantly stimulated by the outside world, supplying all kinds of sensory details including sights, sounds, and a plethora of uncontrollable factors.

Simply put, the mind does not like to be still, it likes to be engaged through this constant absorption of surrounding stimuli. Due to the mind’s nature, it can be a challenge to solely reflect, sit in stillness and just think. If we are constantly thinking about somewhere we are not, the subconscious mind will focus on this without us even realising it. In choosing to actively concentrate on the present, we direct both our subconscious and conscious minds back to reality, surrounding people, and present opportunities. However, this often involves an active decision on our part to focus on the present moment.

Savouring Is A Fantastic Way To Begin Active Thinking 

A common issue people face is living in a constant state of worry. We often place a substantial focus on what the future holds, how our lives will change, and all that will go wrong or right. Essentially, we want to comprehend the unknown, and we crave a foreseeable life progression to clarify our questions. Most people struggle with change to a certain extent, and want to feel in control. But truly, there are so many things out of our control, and worrying about them will not make a difference. The present is all that really exists, and the future is actually here, right now. Making the most of each day seems to be a lofty goal, but through an active focus on the present, worries will dissolve away.

One way to combat this mental anxiety is, to purely savour the moment as it is happening. For example, if you ever find yourself in a gorgeous setting, perhaps a tranquil walk along the beach, or watching a breathtaking sunset, do not think to yourself, “This is so beautiful, I need to come back here with my boyfriend.” Rather, take in this treasure of a sight, content with what you are feeling now, relishing this unique moment in your life. Psychologists call this “savouring”. Yes, you may desire to come back to this point again later, but remember, you are already here right now. It is no coincidence that we have an easier time savouring moments when we are travelling alone. It is easier to be present in the moment without distractions.

So whether it be ruminating about the past, or uneasiness over the future, channeling your mindset to what is directly in front of you will boost positive thoughts, and terminate negative ones about situations that are not even present.

Active Engagement

Time is a strange concept to grasp. Sometimes we are fully aware of its presence when things are progressing slowly. We press on for time to speed up and move forward. But there are also days or extended periods that seem lost on us, passing by so fast they go by almost undetected. Whether we are experiencing a season of life brimming with stress and busyness, uneventful peace, great company and laughter, or even one of self discovery and soul searching, there are ways to make the most of the time we are experiencing. Removing ourselves out of an “autopilot” mindset, and instead taking an insightful interest in our surroundings can immediately draw us into a stronger mindfulness. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, awaken to experience. Engagement can look different for everyone. This could mean developing greater awareness and consistent observations about the people and environment we are in. Finding details, asking questions, and living with a bold curiosity will begin to draw us into the present, and away from negative thoughts. The more involved we are in the situations of today, the less we are in the ones of the past or those that do not exist.

Practise A Do Nothing Moment

So often in our lives we get stuck in ruts, not knowing how we got to this point, what our next move is, or even where to begin to make a change. We get lost in routines, work days blend together, and life can seem to lose its zest and vibrancy. It is almost as if we have surrendered to our circumstances, and forget that we can change the direction and course of our life. A remedy for this kind of stagnancy may sound contradictory, but it is actually to “do nothing”. Practicing a “do nothing moment” each day can actually be quite helpful for increasing productivity, motivation, and a peaceful mindset. Whether this be in the morning when we wake, or afternoon to break up the day, setting aside a time to collect our thoughts and motives brings many positive benefits. By removing our minds from the constant commotion of our thoughts and worldly distractions, this can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and even boost immunity. We touch base with our emotions and honest desires, which should never be ignored. A greater understanding of ourselves and our deepest wishes will lead to a stronger motivation and awareness to accomplish these goals all the days of our lives.

Learn To Let Go

Nelson Mandela powerfully said “when I was walking out of the door towards the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew that if I did not leave behind my bitterness and hatred, I would still be in prison”. Living in the moment entirely cannot take place without some relationship to the past. In other words, we must let the past go. Harbouring regret, anger, and negative feelings will only weigh us down, and become heavier the longer we carry these burdens. We alter our consciousness when we let these pains into our very core, changing the way we think. Forgiveness and setting free these anxieties is an ability to rise above these challenges, because we will not heal by hurting someone else. An avid practitioner of mindfulness, Buddha himself said, “Resentment is like drinking a cup of poison and expecting the other person to die”. Internal healing comes by letting go of these things that either hold us captive, or set us free. Forgiveness does not excuse the behaviour, rather it protects us from the negative affects the action could cause us. So learn to let go, practice forgiveness, and take courage to move past what cannot be changed, giving of all your energy to the present day. 

With thanks to Kelly-Grace Struble https://thoughtcatalog.com/kelly-grace-struble/2017/10/learning-to-live-in-the-moment-will-change-your-life/