Imagine that it is finally happening; you have worked hard and you have a shot at your dream job. You made it through the first two interviews and it is down to the final three candidates.
The problem is now that the opportunity is so close at hand you are suddenly plagued with doubts. Are you really capable and smart enough to do the job and live up to the expectations that go with it? So many people will be counting on you, including your own family, and from what you have heard the other two candidates have a lot more experience, so why are they even considering you anyway?
As if the self-defeating questions are not bad enough, you have begun experiencing mental reruns of every mistake you have ever made, which immediately adds to the stress and doubts about your abilities.
What if you really cannot do the job? How can you possibly walk into that interview as calm and assured as you need to be? Maybe you are not as ready for this as you thought you were and it would be better to just make an excuse and cancel and avoid the embarrassment.
There are countless examples we could substitute for the job interview scenario. The point is that even under the best of circumstances our emotions can get away from us and overrule reality and all logical thinking.
But what if it were possible to regain focus and change our emotional state like a switch connected to a light bulb so that we could dissolve the fear and doubts and replace the negative emotions with confidence?
How would it change things in your own life if you could dismiss stress, frustration, and fear of failure and center yourself by tapping into your own inner strength?
Sounds pretty good, but what exactly IS inner strength and how does it work? More importantly, how do we learn to control it in a way that we can tap into it when we need it most?
Here are a few phrases typically used to define inner strength.
Confidence and power from inside.
Resoluteness of will.
Integrity of character.
Able to withstand pressure.
To rise above fear.
Internal energy to move one toward a purposeful life.
Typical advice on how to build inner strength includes such tactics as thinking positive, keep track of your successes, and recite daily affirmations to remain calm, stay active, lean on family and friends and never give up.
While there is no question that each of these are a worthwhile activity, the missing element is a focused strategy designed to help you cultivate this highly desirable characteristic.
The Essential Keys To Unleash Your Inner Strength
You could think of building inner strength the way you would develop a muscle.
While it is true that some individuals seem to naturally come by their ability to remain unflappable regardless of the challenges they may face, we are all born with the ability to increase our capacity for inner strength by cultivating a balance between rational and emotional characteristics, specifically the following essential behaviours.
Meaning: Developing self-awareness and a clear sense of meaning in life.
Accountability: Taking full responsibility for your choices and behaviours.
Emotional Mastery: Learning to understand and manage your emotions.
Of these three behaviours there is a tendency to find emotional mastery to be the most intimidating, but let us take a closer look at how these essential keys work together to not only build your capacity for inner strength but enable you to tap into its power when you need it most.
Meaning
All personal development is based on self-awareness and achieving sustainable change and growth requires exploring the motivation behind the choices you make every day and this is where “meaning” comes in.
The meaning you give to life represents your interpretation of your beliefs, experiences and your core mindset. It affects your view of the world. In other words, meaning is the “why” behind everything thing you do or do not do in life. The critical point to keep in mind is that you are the one who finds meaning in your life, no one else can do that for you.
Fortunately, you also have the power to change your interpretation to create a more desirable meaning. So for example if your belief about change is that it is a bad thing, then change is going to be a struggle, particularly if it is thrust upon you. But it is within your power to alter your interpretation to see change as an opportunity for growth.
When we are able to fully grasp the potential for this ability to positively affect our attitude toward our circumstances it is incredibly empowering and that is why it is an essential element of inner strength.
Accountability
The notion of taking full responsibility for one’s own life circumstances may be tough for some people to accept. After all, it does somewhat bump up against the reality that there are things that we have no control over. Nevertheless, the fact remains that we do have control over our own choices and behaviour and that includes the way in which we respond to life in general and adversity in particular.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that this is not about placing blame, but rather learning to understand and accept the consequences of our choices.
And of course, we can always opt not to take responsibility, after all, that would involve fewer unknowns and less risk of discomfort. The problem is, there is always a price to pay for the choices we make and in this regard, it means relinquishing your power and accepting the victim card, which inevitably results in issues of low self-esteem, and lack of self-trust.
In the end, both choices take pretty much the same amount of energy but the rewards for taking personal responsibility include the ability to quickly adapt to challenging situations, increased confidence, self esteem, and possibly the most important benefit of all, a greater sense of autonomy (control) over the quality and direction of your life.
Emotional Mastery
As illustrated in the example I used at the beginning of this article, our emotions have the ability to overrule reality and even the most logical mind.
It really comes down to either you are going to rule your emotions or your emotions will rule you. When you do the work to become more self aware it is much easier to identify emotional triggers and the coping strategies that will enable you to roll with the punches and adapt to stressful circumstances.
And when you can deal with minor irritations and unexpected detours in this way, you can also manage more serious forms of adversity with greater ease, which is just one way in which inner strength benefits you in daily life as well as when faced with the rare crisis event.
Building your capacity for inner strength is not difficult, and while it will not happen overnight, when you go about intentionally developing the areas outlined above, you may be surprised at how soon you will begin seeing a positive change in your overall quality of life.
With thanks to Maquita A Herald
