The Importance Of Forgiveness

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold onto anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge, or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticised your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance.

But if you do not practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

What Is Forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness does not mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it does not minimise or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you get on with your life.

What Are The Benefits Of Forgiving Someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:

• Healthier relationships
• Greater spiritual and psychological wellbeing
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• Stronger immune system
• Improved heart health
• Higher self-esteem

Why Is It So Easy To Bear A Grudge?

When you are hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

What Are The Effects Of Holding A Grudge?

If you are unforgiving, you might:

• Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience
• Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you cannot enjoy the present
• Become depressed or anxious
• Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you are at odds with your spiritual beliefs
• Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others

How Do You Reach A State Of Forgiveness? 

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:

• Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
• Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you have reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
• Actively choose to forgive the person who has offended you, when you are ready
• Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation has had on your life

As you let go of grudges, you will no longer define your life by how you have been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

With thanks to the Mayo Clinic http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692