Each person has their own set of beliefs. Beliefs are so ingrained in each person to the extent that while some may make sense, others question where they came from and why they have them. Some beliefs are emotional, other are psychological, and some are held so highly in a person’s mental make-up that they are considered to be absolute no matter what.
People are not born with beliefs. Rather, they acquire them throughout their lives. Many beliefs are obtained in childhood and adolescence, through the different interactions people have with others, be it being scolded by adults or praised by peers. Therefore, many beliefs that a person has are about relationships, as they are usually the ones with the most emotional impact both positive and negative.
Some researchers have theorised that some beliefs hold a person back from pursuing their dreams or desires. They often serve no purpose other than to weigh people down with excess baggage. These are called limiting beliefs, and while a person may realise or become aware of them, very few actually take the steps to eliminate limiting beliefs. This is because some may consider these beliefs to be too ingrained to remove or all too familiar. Limiting beliefs may be considered as a person’s comfort blanket or zone. Stepping out of them or changing them completely could prove to be a challenge.
Some examples of limiting beliefs are:
- “I do not deserve to love or be loved”
- “I am not good enough”
- “I am not smart enough”
- “Who would ever want to buy what I have to sell?”
- “I am too old to do..."
- “I am too young to do…”
Many guides are available to help people change or remove their limiting beliefs. These guides make it seem easy, but a person needs to remember that a belief can be so ingrained that it could be hard to think of a counter-belief or discard it completely. Here are some steps to help eliminate limiting beliefs:
Identify the Limiting Beliefs
The first step to change is accepting that a person must change. On a piece of paper write down each one of the limiting beliefs that a person wants to eliminate (or dispense with the paper completely and do some mental reflection). This step is crucial because a person has to be brutally honest with themselves about what they want to change and what exactly are their limiting beliefs.
A good way of identifying limiting beliefs is to start with the phrase “I am afraid that I…” then complete it. A person’s fears, no matter how irrational, are usually the root of many limiting beliefs. Once a person has identified their inner demons and are ready to accept that they must break free from them, they can move on to the next step.
Challenge the Beliefs
Once the limiting beliefs have been identified or written down, the next thing a person must do is challenge them. This is done by giving a counter-argument or counter-instance against the belief. For instance, a person’s belief could be “I am a terrible writer.” The counter-instance to this belief could be “But I was able to write a published article back then.” For each belief, a person must think of an instance where the belief was not completely true. It could be derived from a person’s own experiences or through the experiences of their friends, coworkers, or family members.
When Had These Beliefs Held a Person Back?
This question is an important question to ask whilst taking the steps to eliminate limiting beliefs, because this requires a person to look deep into one's self and remember all those times they wanted to do something or wanted something but was held back by their beliefs. Some supplementary questions that could accompany this could be:
- “How has a belief hurt me in the past?"
- “What have I lost by this belief holding me back?”
Asking these questions, can help a person dig deep into their past experiences to find the root cause of these limiting beliefs. Which specific memories helped propagate these beliefs and which were the most emotionally charged ones?
Write New Beliefs and Repeat as Many Times as Necessary
Once a person has identified their limiting beliefs, written counter-instances, and found the root of these beliefs, they should write out new beliefs that will empower them. For instance, their limiting belief could have been “I am a terrible writer.” After much reflection and introspection, the new belief could be “my writing is not the best, but with a lot of practice, I will become better.” Repeat this step as many times as necessary.
With thanks to Loki Ong Negativty Killer http://affiliateshinobi.com/taking-the-right-steps-to-eliminate-limiting-beliefs/
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