Success Is A Lifestyle

 How do we define success? There are many different tactics for how to be successful in life, but the strategy that works best for you may depend on your view of success itself. We often think of it as doing well at work or earning a high salary.

While professional accomplishments can be one piece of the puzzle, it leaves out many other important areas of life. Family, romantic relationships, academics, and athletics are just a few areas where people may strive for success. Your individual definition of what success is may vary, but many might define it as being fulfilled, happy, safe, healthy, and loved.

It is the ability to reach your goals in life, whatever those goals may be. So what can you do to boost your chances of achieving these things? What are some of the habits of successful people?

There is no single right way to be successful. What works for you might not work for someone else. There may not be a perfect combination of ingredients that can guarantee success, but there are some basic steps you can follow that can improve your chances of being successful in life, love, work, or whatever happens to be important to you.

Build A Growth Mindset

Research by psychologist Carol Dweck suggests that there are two basic mindsets that influence how people think about themselves and their abilities: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.

People who possess a fixed mindset believe that things such as intelligence are static and unchangeable. Those with a fixed mindset believe that success is not a result of hard work, It is simply a consequence of innate talents.

Because they believe that such talents are something people are either born with or without, they tend to give up more easily in the face of a challenge. They quit when things do not come easily because they believe that they lack the inborn skill needed to excel.

Those who have a growth mindset, on the other hand, feel that they can change, grow, and learn through effort. People who believe that they are capable of growth are more likely to achieve success. When things get tough, they look for ways to improve their skills and keep working toward success.

How Do You Build A Growth Mindset?

Believe that your efforts matter. Rather than thinking your abilities are fixed or stuck, people who have a growth mindset believe that effort and hard work can lead to meaningful growth.

Learn new skills. When faced with a challenge, look for ways to develop the knowledge and skills that you need to overcome and triumph.

View Failures as learning experiences. People with growth mindsets do not believe that failure is a reflection of their abilities. Instead, they view it as a valuable source of experience from which they can learn and improve. "That did not work," they might think, "so this time I will try something a little different."

Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Overall intelligence has long been believed to be one factor contributing to success in different areas of life, but some experts suggest that emotiional untelligence may actually matter even more. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand, utalise, and reason with emotions. are able to understand not only their own emotions, but those of others as well.

To improve your emotional intelligence:

Pay Attention to your own emotions. Focus on identifying what you are feeling and what is causing those feelings.

Manage your emotions.  Step back and try to view things with an impartial eye. Avoid bottling up or repressing your feelings, but look for healthy and appropriate ways of dealing with what you are feeling.

Develop Mental Toughness

Mental toughness refers to the resilience to carry on and continue trying even in the face of obstacles People who possess this mental strength see challenges as opportunities. They also feel that they have control over their own destiny, are confident in their abilities to succeed, and are committed to finishing what they start.

What can you do to improve your mental toughness and increase your chances of being successful in life?

Believe in yourself. Cut out negative self-talk and look for ways to stay positive and self-encouraging.

Keep trying. Even when things seem impossible or setbacks keep holding you back, focus on ways that you can develop your skills and keep soldiering forward. One of the key habits of successful people is to always look at setbacks or failures as learning opportunities.

Set goals. Mentally tough people know that in order to achieve, they need to start by having attainable goals. These goals are not necessarily easy to reach, but by having something to aim for, you will be better able to move forward and overcome obstacles.

Find Support. Doing things alone can be difficult, but having a strong support system can make things easier. Mentors, friends, co-workers, and family members can cheer you on when things get tough, and even offer advice and assistance that can help you improve your chances for success. on to nonverbal signals and body language.

Strengthen Your Willpower

Psychologists followed a group of children who were identified by their teachers as highly intelligent. As they compared how these subjects fared throughout childhood and into adulthood, researchers found that those who ultimately were the most successful in life shared some key characteristics, including perseverance and willpower.

These characteristics tend to be part of an individual's overall personality, but they are also something you can improve. Learning to persist in the face of challenges, and waiting for the rewards of your hard work can often be the key to success in life.

Strategies you can use to improve your willpower include:

Distraction. For example, if you are trying to lose weight but are having a difficult time staying away from your favourite snacks, distracting yourself during your moments of weakness can be an effective way to avoid giving in to temptation.

Practice. Willpower is something you can build, but it takes time and effort. Start by making small goals that require will power to achieve, such as avoiding sugary snacks. As you build your ability to use your will power to achieve such small goals, you may find that your willpower is also stronger when working on much larger goals.

Focus On Intrinsic Motivation

What is it that motivates you the most? Do you find that the promise of external rewards keeps you reaching for your goals, or is it the more personal, intrinsic motivatirs that keep you feeling inspired? While intrinsic such as money, awards, and praise can be helpful, many people find that they are most motivated when they are doing things for personal satisfaction.

If you are doing things because you enjoy them, because you find them meaningful, or because you enjoy seeing the effects of your work, then you are driven by intrinsic motivations.

What can you do to boost your sense of intrinsic motivation?

Challenge yourself. Pursuing a goal that is achievable, but not necessarily easy, is a great way to increase motivation to succeed. Challenges can keep you interested in a task, improve your self-esteem, and offer feedback on areas you can improve on. Choosing a task that is slightly challenging will help motivate you to get started, it feels exciting!

Stay curious. Look for things that grab your attention and that you would like to learn more about.

Take control. It can be difficult to stay intrinsically motivated to pursue a goal if you do not feel that you have any real influence over the outcome. Look for ways that you can take an active role.

Do not fear competition. There might be other people out there trying to reach the same goals as you, but this does not mean that you should give up. Do not compare your progress or journey to anyone else's. You can look to others for motivation and inspiration, but remember that we all have different paths.

Nurture Traits Linked To High Potential

If you are trying to learn how to be successful in life, consider what you can do to nurture these key traits:

Conscientiousness

Conscientious people consider the effects of their actions. They also consider how other people will react and feel. You can nurture this trait by:

Thinking about the consequences of actions.

Considering other people's perspectives.

Accepting of Ambiguity

Life is full of situations that are not always clear. People with a great deal of potential for success are better able to accept this ambiguity. Rather than being rigid and inflexible, they are ready to adapt when the unexpected comes their way. You can learn to embrace ambiguity by:

Challenging your perspectives and considering opinions and ideas other than your own.

Not fearing the unfamiliar.

Being willing to change.

Valuing diversity.

Capable of Adjustment

In addition to being able to accept ambiguity, success often hinges on the ability to quickly adjust to change. You can nurture this ability to adjust by:

Reframing difficult situations, to see them as opportunities to learn and grow rather than simply obstacles to live through.

Being open to change; when plans or situations change, step back and look at ways to cope.

Courageous

The world's most successful people often exemplify great courage. They are willing to take risks, even in the face of potential failure. Research suggests that courageous people utilise positive emotions to overcome fear You can improve your tolerance of risk by:

Quelling negative emotions and focusing on more positive feelings.

Balancing risk with common sense; being cautious and pragmatic can also pay off, depending upon the situation.

Curiosity

People who are successful tend to be curious about the world around them. They are always eager to learn more, including new knowledge and skills. You can cultivate your sense of curiosity by:

Relating tasks to your interests: 

If you find filing boring, for example, look for a more efficient way to categorise the information to play to your strengths as an organiser.

Learning new things.

Competitiveness

Successful people are able to utilise competition to motivate, but avoid falling prey to jealousy. 

You can nurture a healthy sense of competition by:

Focusing on your own improvements; rather than worry about being the best at something, pay attention to your progress.

Being happy when others succeed.

With thanks to Kendra Cherry 

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-be-successful-in-life-4165743#citation-5

Never Give Up

You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it is enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up. ~Richelle E. Goodrich

We all feel like giving up, at some point in our lives, in the various journeys that we undertake. Sometimes we give up even before we start. And at other times, most crucially, we tend to give up just before we are about to make a huge break-through.

But we should realise that our hardest times often lead us to the greatest moments of our lives. ‘Keep going’ should be our mantra. Tough situations build strong people in the end. We should not fear failure but rather fear of not trying.

Anything is possible. As long as you are alive, healthy and free, you have the choice to keep trying until you finally succeed. But yes you have to be realistic.

The words “give” and “up” should never be together. And particularly, the word ‘No’ should not even be in your vocabulary. Being part of the human kind you are one of the most enthusiastic and strongest beings to have ever walked on the earth.

You probably, do not even realise that there are a countless number of positives inside of you. And every now and then when you lose motivation, a quick reminder of what your potential is can really help. To taste success, you are always faced with temporary defeat, just always keep that in mind.

If you give up when faced with defeat you will fail, but if you keep going you will become successful.

Here are some of the reasons why you should never give up:

• You have everything you need
• You are alive and for you nothing is impossible
• You need to prove it to yourself
• Success feels great
• It could change for the better
• This is meant to happen, you were destined to do this
• You will learn a lot from not giving up
• You deserve happiness and success
• Failure is normal
• It’s always the darkest before the dawn

Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine.

So stay true to yourself, yet always be open to learn. Work hard, and never give up on your dreams, even when nobody else but you believes they can come true. These are not cliches but real tools you need, no matter what you do in life to stay focused on your path. 

Remember - A quitter never wins and a winner never quits - Napoleon Hill

With thanks to Barsha Nag Bhowmick

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/life-n-style/never-give-up-its-always-the-darkest-before-dawn/

The Power Of Hope

It has been a while.......

We all have times in our lives when we get down in the dumps. Sometimes we feel defeated and at times it is hard to even feel like continuing on. However there is a way to change the pain and hurt into hope. Hope can lift us to a new dimension and help to heal the hurt.

One of our greatest gifts is HOPE, for with it, all things are possible. Without it, nothing is possible. The survival of Nelson Mandela and victory of Mahatma Gandhi are dramatic examples of the power of hope. Despite their ordeals, both nurtured hope in their hearts, and in return hope sustained them.

 

Before continuing, let me define hope. It is the feeling that we will eventually get what we want or need.Or that in the long run everything will turn out for the best, even if the final outcome is not what we want at this time. Hope requires faith and trust in life, oneself, and others, and is the opposite of fear, anxiety, and despair. It also leads to positive expectations.

 

What do you believe the future holds in store for you? Do you expect it to be bright or gloomy? Regardless of your expectation, you may be right or you may be wrong. Since you cannot predict the future, you can only take a guess. Although we cannot know the future, we can predict the outcome of your guess. For if you believe your future will be gloomy, you will become anxious, unhappy, and less motivated. On the other hand, if you expect a bright future, you will be confident, enthusiastic, and happy.

 

As we cannot predict the future, we can only guess at the outcome. And that guess is a choice we make. Choosing to be hopeful is practical because it will free us of unnecessary suffering. And even if our guess turns out to be wrong and disaster strikes, we will be much better prepared to deal with it. For those who expect a tragedy grow so weary that by the time it comes they are completely drained of energy and incapable of taking constructive action.

 

To deliberately choose despair over hope is foolhardy. Moreover, hope not only makes our journey much more pleasant, but may even guarantee our success. Especially when it is combined with action. That is, besides expecting a successful outcome, do everything in your power to make it happen and look for evidence that you are approaching your goal. At the same time, stop doing whatever is counterproductive. When you combine the power of hope with that of action, you will have good reason to H.ave O.nly P.ositive E.xpectations (H.O.P.E.).

Are dark clouds looming over your life? If so, it does not necessarily follow that a storm is approaching. However, even if today were to be your darkest day, the tempest will pass if you wait it out. That’s why you must keep the flame of hope burning in your heart. Storms may rage, but do not let them extinguish hope.

Hope is always a better choice than despair? Charles Sawyer thinks so, for he wrote, “Of all the forces that make for a better world, none is so indispensable, none so powerful, as hope. Without hope men are only half alive. With hope they dream and think and work.” John Johnson also makes a powerful comment: “Men and women are limited not by the place of their birth, not by the colour of their skin, but by the size of their hope.” Also, Charles Kingsley adds, “The men whom I have seen succeed best in life always have been cheerful and hopeful men; who went about their business with a smile on their faces; and took the changes and chances of this mortal life like men; facing rough and smooth alike as it came.”

The Many Benefits of Hope
The difference between living with hope and living in fear is like the difference between the life of a hero and the life of a coward. Those who live in fear, refuse to take risks, and wind up settling for a life of mediocrity. But those who live with hope, boldly go where their dreams take them, and experience a life of adventure. Is there any question which is the superior choice? I think you will agree that Marion Zimmer Bradley makes a lot of sense when she writes, “It has never been, and never will be, easy work! But the road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveller than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination.”

Life is synonymous with change. So, any pain or fear that I am experiencing will end, which is a cause to be hopeful. President John F. Kennedy put it this way, “Every area of trouble gives out a ray of hope, and the one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.” Jean Kerr shares the same thought in simpler terms, “Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have is not permanent.”

To live with hope is to be awake or, in the words of Aristotle, “Hope is the dream of a waking man.” On the other hand, “To live without hope is to cease to live.” (Fyodor Dostoevsky, And, according to the Old Testament, “Anyone who is among the living has hope, even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!”

One cannot be awake or aware and not be hopeful and joyful, for as Osho (Rajneesh) said, “ignorance means the capacity to ignore. You must be ignoring the birds, the trees, the flowers, the people. Otherwise, life is tremendously beautiful, so absurdly beautiful, that if you can see it as it is you will never stop laughing. You will go on giggling, at least inside.”

With thanks to Sterling McCartney

https://www.scienceofimagery.com/dont-let-hurt-drag-you-down-let-hope-lift-you/

 

How To Fight Negativity

Negativity can really affect your life. It can lead to depression, cause health issues, and destroy your connections with others. Here are a few tips to help you eliminate the negativity in your life.

First, figure out what is triggering the negativity. Before you can eliminate it, you have to identify it. You will probably find that much of your negativity comes from those self-tapes you play in your head. You need to find ways to change those tapes from negative to positive. One way of doing this is using affirmations. Just make sure the affirmations are very specifically tied to the actual negative thoughts.

This is were a lot of people go wrong with affirmations. They use general ones that really are not relevant to their own issues. This is like general praise, it works some of the time, but can be overdone. “Good job” is not as useful as, for example, “I like the way you share with Bobby during play time.” Same with affirmations, try to stick as close to the negative tape as possible, and only change the negative to a positive.

Meditation and yoga are both great ways to cut down on the negativity in your life. Both focus on using breathing exercises to replenish your body. Yoga also helps with developing flexibility and strength in your body. Meditation mainly focuses on mind, but can really help you change how you think about things, especially if you combine this with the affirmations.

Smiling more can help, too, and is a simple way to help eliminate negativity. Studies have shown that you can even sense when talking on the phone to someone that they are smiling. Smiling is contagious and can not only help you feel more positive, but help those around you, as well.

Have you ever noticed that when you are in a good mood, and you talk with that one person who is always negative, it brings your mood down? Focus on people in your life who are positive. As much as possible, get rid of, or limit contact with negative people. Sometimes you can not completely do this, especially if they are family, but try to limit as much as you can.

Playing the victim keeps you in a negative mindset. By taking control of your life and your choices, you can eliminate a lot of the negativity. No matter how much it seems everything is out of your control, you do have choices. Even if you have disabilities, or health conditions, you can find ways to work around them to accomplish what you want to do.

With thanks to Sean May https://www.scienceofimagery.com/5-tips-to-fight-negativity/

Learn To Manage Stress

When 2021 started we all let out a collective sigh, believing that finally, we could get back to our pre-coronavirus lives again. How wrong we were! 

We were told that the virus was back with avengance, in the formation of a new mutation, so once again we had to go back into lockdown. Just as we were beginning to feel better about ourselves, our stress level sky rocket again, filling us with dread and fear about the new year ahead.   

It would be nice if we lived in a world that was completely calm and the monster we know as stress did not exist. While this may be a wonderful dream, that day will probably never exist. However, we can learn to cope with stress and control it, instead of it controlling us.

Anyone who has ever experienced high amounts of stress for long periods of time is well aware of the damages it can have on a person’s life. For this reason, it is highly important that we are all aware of ways in which we can deal with stress in effective and safe ways.

You may feel there is nothing you can do about stress. The bills will not stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, your work and family responsibilities will always be demanding and cornavirus will eventually become manageable. But you have more control over stress than you might think.

Stress management is all about taking charge: of your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems. No matter how stressful your life seems, there are steps you can take to relieve the pressure and regain control.

What is stress management? 

We all respond to stress differently so, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing stress. But if you feel like the stress in your life is out of control, it is time to take action. Stress management can teach you healthier ways to cope with stress, help you reduce its harmful effects, and prevent stress from spiraling out of control again in the future. 

No matter how powerless you may feel in the face of stress, you still have control over your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems. Stress management involves changing the stressful situation when you can, changing your reaction when you cannot, taking care of yourself, and making time for rest and relaxation. The first step is to recognise the true sources of stress in your life.

Start a stress journal 

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. 

Write down: 

• What caused your stress (make a guess if you are unsure)
• How you felt, both physically and emotionally
• How you acted in response
• What you did to make yourself feel better

 

It is easy to identify sources of stress following a major life event such as changing jobs, moving home, or losing a loved one, but pinpointing the sources of everyday stress can be more complicated. It is all too easy to overlook your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that contribute to your stress levels. Sure, you may know that you are constantly worried about work deadlines, but maybe it is your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that is causing the stress. 

To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

 •Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you cannot remember the last time you took a breather?

•Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that is all”)?
•Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?
Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.

How do you currently cope with stress? 

Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem. 

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run: 

• Smoking
• Drinking too much
• Bingeing on junk or comfort food
• Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer
• Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities
• Using pills or drugs to relax
• Sleeping too much
• Procrastinating
• Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems
• Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)

 

Learning healthier ways to manage stress

 If your methods of coping with stress are not contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it is time to find healthier ones. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.

Stress management strategy #1: Get moving

Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress, but you do not have to be an athlete or spend hours in a gym to experience the benefits. Just about any form of physical activity can help relieve stress and burn away anger, tension, and frustration. Exercise releases endorphins that boost your mood and make you feel good, and it can also serve as a valuable distraction to your daily worries.

 

While the maximum benefit comes from exercising for thirty minutes or more, you can start small and build up your fitness level gradually. Short, ten-minute bursts of activity that elevate your heart rate and make you break out into a sweat can help to relieve stress and give you more energy and optimism. Even very small activities can add up over the course of a day. The first step is to get yourself up and moving.

 

Here are a few easy ways:

 • Put on some music and dance around

• Take your dog for a walk
• Walk or cycle to the grocery store
• Use the stairs at home or work rather than an elevator
• Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot and walk the rest of the way
• Pair up with an exercise partner and encourage each other as you workout
• Play ping-pong or an activity-based video game with your kids

 

Managing stress with regular exercise

Once you are in the habit of being physically active, try to incorporate regular exercise into your daily schedule. Activities that are continuous and rhythmic that require moving both your arms and legs are especially effective at relieving stress. Walking, running, swimming, dancing, cycling, tai chi, and aerobic classes are good choices.

 

Pick an activity you enjoy, so you are more likely to stick with it. Instead of continuing to focus on your thoughts while you exercise, make a conscious effort to focus on your body and the physical (and sometimes emotional) sensations you experience as you are moving. Adding this mindfulness element to your exercise routine will help you break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that often accompanies overwhelming stress. Focus on coordinating your breathing with your movements, for example, notice how the air or sunlight feels on your skin. Getting out of your head and paying attention to how your body feels is also the surest way to avoid picking up an injury.

 
When you have exercised, you will most likely find it easier to put other stress management techniques to use, including reaching out to others and engaging socially.

With thanks to Sean May

https://www.scienceofimagery.com/stop-falling-victim-to-stress-you-can-claim-your-life-back/