How To Fight Negativity

Negativity can really affect your life. It can lead to depression, cause health issues, and destroy your connections with others. Here are a few tips to help you eliminate the negativity in your life.

First, figure out what is triggering the negativity. Before you can eliminate it, you have to identify it. You will probably find that much of your negativity comes from those self-tapes you play in your head. You need to find ways to change those tapes from negative to positive. One way of doing this is using affirmations. Just make sure the affirmations are very specifically tied to the actual negative thoughts.

This is were a lot of people go wrong with affirmations. They use general ones that really are not relevant to their own issues. This is like general praise, it works some of the time, but can be overdone. “Good job” is not as useful as, for example, “I like the way you share with Bobby during play time.” Same with affirmations, try to stick as close to the negative tape as possible, and only change the negative to a positive.

Meditation and yoga are both great ways to cut down on the negativity in your life. Both focus on using breathing exercises to replenish your body. Yoga also helps with developing flexibility and strength in your body. Meditation mainly focuses on mind, but can really help you change how you think about things, especially if you combine this with the affirmations.

Smiling more can help, too, and is a simple way to help eliminate negativity. Studies have shown that you can even sense when talking on the phone to someone that they are smiling. Smiling is contagious and can not only help you feel more positive, but help those around you, as well.

Have you ever noticed that when you are in a good mood, and you talk with that one person who is always negative, it brings your mood down? Focus on people in your life who are positive. As much as possible, get rid of, or limit contact with negative people. Sometimes you can not completely do this, especially if they are family, but try to limit as much as you can.

Playing the victim keeps you in a negative mindset. By taking control of your life and your choices, you can eliminate a lot of the negativity. No matter how much it seems everything is out of your control, you do have choices. Even if you have disabilities, or health conditions, you can find ways to work around them to accomplish what you want to do.

With thanks to Sean May https://www.scienceofimagery.com/5-tips-to-fight-negativity/

Learn To Manage Stress

When 2021 started we all let out a collective sigh, believing that finally, we could get back to our pre-coronavirus lives again. How wrong we were! 

We were told that the virus was back with avengance, in the formation of a new mutation, so once again we had to go back into lockdown. Just as we were beginning to feel better about ourselves, our stress level sky rocket again, filling us with dread and fear about the new year ahead.   

It would be nice if we lived in a world that was completely calm and the monster we know as stress did not exist. While this may be a wonderful dream, that day will probably never exist. However, we can learn to cope with stress and control it, instead of it controlling us.

Anyone who has ever experienced high amounts of stress for long periods of time is well aware of the damages it can have on a person’s life. For this reason, it is highly important that we are all aware of ways in which we can deal with stress in effective and safe ways.

You may feel there is nothing you can do about stress. The bills will not stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, your work and family responsibilities will always be demanding and cornavirus will eventually become manageable. But you have more control over stress than you might think.

Stress management is all about taking charge: of your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems. No matter how stressful your life seems, there are steps you can take to relieve the pressure and regain control.

What is stress management? 

We all respond to stress differently so, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing stress. But if you feel like the stress in your life is out of control, it is time to take action. Stress management can teach you healthier ways to cope with stress, help you reduce its harmful effects, and prevent stress from spiraling out of control again in the future. 

No matter how powerless you may feel in the face of stress, you still have control over your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems. Stress management involves changing the stressful situation when you can, changing your reaction when you cannot, taking care of yourself, and making time for rest and relaxation. The first step is to recognise the true sources of stress in your life.

Start a stress journal 

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. 

Write down: 

• What caused your stress (make a guess if you are unsure)
• How you felt, both physically and emotionally
• How you acted in response
• What you did to make yourself feel better

 

It is easy to identify sources of stress following a major life event such as changing jobs, moving home, or losing a loved one, but pinpointing the sources of everyday stress can be more complicated. It is all too easy to overlook your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that contribute to your stress levels. Sure, you may know that you are constantly worried about work deadlines, but maybe it is your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that is causing the stress. 

To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

 •Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you cannot remember the last time you took a breather?

•Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that is all”)?
•Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?
Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.

How do you currently cope with stress? 

Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem. 

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run: 

• Smoking
• Drinking too much
• Bingeing on junk or comfort food
• Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer
• Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities
• Using pills or drugs to relax
• Sleeping too much
• Procrastinating
• Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems
• Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)

 

Learning healthier ways to manage stress

 If your methods of coping with stress are not contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it is time to find healthier ones. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.

Stress management strategy #1: Get moving

Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress, but you do not have to be an athlete or spend hours in a gym to experience the benefits. Just about any form of physical activity can help relieve stress and burn away anger, tension, and frustration. Exercise releases endorphins that boost your mood and make you feel good, and it can also serve as a valuable distraction to your daily worries.

 

While the maximum benefit comes from exercising for thirty minutes or more, you can start small and build up your fitness level gradually. Short, ten-minute bursts of activity that elevate your heart rate and make you break out into a sweat can help to relieve stress and give you more energy and optimism. Even very small activities can add up over the course of a day. The first step is to get yourself up and moving.

 

Here are a few easy ways:

 • Put on some music and dance around

• Take your dog for a walk
• Walk or cycle to the grocery store
• Use the stairs at home or work rather than an elevator
• Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot and walk the rest of the way
• Pair up with an exercise partner and encourage each other as you workout
• Play ping-pong or an activity-based video game with your kids

 

Managing stress with regular exercise

Once you are in the habit of being physically active, try to incorporate regular exercise into your daily schedule. Activities that are continuous and rhythmic that require moving both your arms and legs are especially effective at relieving stress. Walking, running, swimming, dancing, cycling, tai chi, and aerobic classes are good choices.

 

Pick an activity you enjoy, so you are more likely to stick with it. Instead of continuing to focus on your thoughts while you exercise, make a conscious effort to focus on your body and the physical (and sometimes emotional) sensations you experience as you are moving. Adding this mindfulness element to your exercise routine will help you break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that often accompanies overwhelming stress. Focus on coordinating your breathing with your movements, for example, notice how the air or sunlight feels on your skin. Getting out of your head and paying attention to how your body feels is also the surest way to avoid picking up an injury.

 
When you have exercised, you will most likely find it easier to put other stress management techniques to use, including reaching out to others and engaging socially.

With thanks to Sean May

https://www.scienceofimagery.com/stop-falling-victim-to-stress-you-can-claim-your-life-back/

 

A Special Time For Relationships

Christmas is for many overwhelming and stressful, even more so now, as we draw to the end of the year of the pandemic.

 

This year, it is not just about presents and food to be bought or family gatherings to be arranged.

 

For so many people it is also the trauma of loneliness, because the pandemic restrictions are forcing people to be apart from their loved ones or they are just allowed to have one day with their families.

 

It is therefore a time when relationships are foremost on peoples minds.

 

However for some, it is a time of deception, when the printed words of peace and love are in direct opposition to what they really feel inside.

A this time of year, any relationships that are under strain may totally split asunder.  

As families gather together in person or via Zoom, old animosities and rivalries can bubble to the surface. 

The mature approach is to just let them go, but it is not easy. 

It takes two people to have a disagreement. 

If one of them (you), decides that life is too short and makes a personal commitment to let the real happiness and peace that is Christmas become a reality, then there is no argument. 

There is no point in winning a series of battles, if you can simply end the war.

 

If you use your energy to perpetuate a feeling of grudge, envy or hurt, then you are using energy that could, and should be directed to more positive things, like building yourself the life that you truly desire.

 

If you can learn the actions that create harmony and peace, then the joy of Christmas really will, as the cards say, stay with you throughout the rest of the year. 

If you want to change somebody else the only place you can begin is with changing yourself. 

And, the only time you can start is right now.

Wishing you love, light and peace over the holiday season and stay safe. 

Time To Give Thanks

 In America, besides sharing time with family and friends over food, the primary ingredient of the Thanksgiving holiday is gratitude. While it is certainly good to have an annual holiday to remind us to express gratitude, there is much to be said for the benefits of cultivating the spirit of thankfulness all year round.

People who are thankful for what they have are better able to cope with stress, have more positive emotions, and are better able to reach their goals. Scientists have even noted that gratitude is associated with improved health.

Published in the Harvard Mental Health Letter,1 "expressing thanks may be one of the simplest ways to feel better:"

The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness (depending on the context). In some ways gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible.

With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognise that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves.

As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals, whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.

People feel and express gratitude in multiple ways. They can apply it to the past (retrieving positive memories and being thankful for elements of childhood or past blessings), the present (not taking good fortune for granted as it comes), and the future (maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude).

Regardless of the inherent or current level of someone's gratitude, it is a quality that individuals can successfully cultivate further.

The head of biologic psychology at Duke University Medical Center once stated that: "If [thankfulness] were a drug, it would be the world's best selling product with a health maintenance indication for every major organ system."2

One way to harness the positive power of gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal or list, where you actively write down exactly what you are grateful for each day. In one study people who kept a gratitude journal reported exercising more, and they had fewer visits to the doctor compared to those who focused on sources of aggravation.

Studies have shown that gratitude can produce a number of measurable effects on a number of systems in your body.

Ways to Cultivate Gratitude

Cultivating a sense of gratitude will help you refocus your attention toward what is good and right in your life, rather than dwelling on the negatives and all the things you may feel are lacking.

And, like a muscle, this mental state can be strengthened with practice. Besides keeping a daily gratitude journal, other ways to cultivate a sense of gratitude include:

• Write thank you notes: Whether in response to a gift or kind act, or simply as a show of gratitude for someone being in your life, getting into the habit of writing thank you letters can help you express gratitude in addition to simply feeling it inside.

• Count your blessings: Once a week, reflect on events for which you are grateful, and write them down. As you do, feel the sensations of happiness and thankfulness you felt at the time it happened, going over it again in your mind.

• Pray: Expressing thanks during your prayers is another way to cultivate gratitude.

• Mindfulness Meditation: Practicing "mindfulness" means that you are actively paying attention to the moment you are in right now. A mantra is sometimes used to help maintain focus, but you can also focus on something that you are grateful for, such as a pleasant smell, a cool breeze, or a lovely memory.

Expanding the Science and Practice of Gratitude

Three years ago, the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California  launched a project called "Cultivating Gratitude in a Consumerist Society." This project aims to:

• Expand the scientific database of gratitude, particularly in the key areas of human health, personal and relational wellbeing, and developmental science;

• Promote evidence based practices of gratitude in medical, educational, and organisational settings and in schools, workplaces, homes and communities, and in so doing…

• Engage the public in a larger cultural conversation about the role of gratitude in civil society.

Previous research has shown that employees whose managers say "thank you" feel greater motivation at work, and work harder than peers who do not hear those "magic words. Being on the receiving end of a person's gratitude can boost a subjects' sense of self-worth and/or self-efficacy. It also appears to encourage participants to further help the person who offered the gratitude but also another, unrelated person in an unconscious 'pay it forward' kind of connection."

Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude as Part of a Healthy Lifestyle

Starting each day by thinking of all the things you have to be thankful for is one way to put your mind on the right track. Also, remember that your future depends largely on the thoughts you think today. So each moment of every day is an opportunity to turn your thinking around, thereby helping or hindering your ability to think and feel more positive in the very next moment.

Most experts agree that there are no shortcuts to happiness. Even generally happy people do not experience joy 24 hours a day. But a happy person can have a bad day and still find pleasure in the small things in life.

Be thankful for what you have. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, remember the 1,000 reasons you have to smile. Face your past without regret; prepare for the future without fear; focus on what is good right now, in the present moment, and practice gratitude. Remember to say "thank you" to yourself, the Universe, and others. It is wonderful to see a person smile, and even more wonderful knowing that you are the reason behind it! 

With thanks to Dr Mercola

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/11/27/thanksgiving-gratitude.aspx

Go The Extra Mile

Are you someone who consistently goes the extra mile and routinely over delivers on your promises?

It is rare these days, but it is the hallmark of high achievers who know that exceeding expectations helps you stand above the crowd. Almost by force of habit, successful people simply do more.

As a result, they experience not only greater financial rewards for their extra efforts but also a personal transformation, becoming more self-confident, self-reliant, and influential with those around them. These high achievers stand out from the crowd because of their extra efforts. They are unwilling to give up, even in the face of difficult times. They get the promotions and loyal customers. Grow their businesses twice as fast, get financial rewards, job security, and go home feeling satisfied.

Do you exceed expectations?

Do you surprise people with more than they were expecting from you?

Do you have the opportunity and the personal initiative to go the extra mile?

To be successful you must change your thinking. You can only win by making extra efforts. People who go the extra mile always get payback. You will discover yourself becoming more self-confident, more self-reliant and more influential with those around you.

People notice the special services and all the small touches that make dealing with you so pleasurable. And when they are talking to their friends they will mention you and recommend you because you are the one who stands out.

People will see that you pay attention to detail, that you consider all the small things that really make a business successful, that you care about your image, and that you belong with all the other people who work hard to achieve. You will attract new business and new opportunities.

Listen to any success story and you will hear of someone who worked exceptionally hard to get what they wanted.

You will hear how they put in the extra time, did what was not part of their job description, and over delivered on what was asked of them. You will hear how they stuck at it until they broke through, and usually hear how it only took them a couple of years to do it.

What have you been doing for the past couple of years? Think of what you could accomplish if you made it a habit to exceed everyone’s expectations. Image what doors could be open to you if you decided to be of better service and value.

How are you willing to go the extra mile? What kind of extra service are you willing to provide in order to stand out from the rest? What areas of your life could you be giving more of your effort and time, becoming more valuable, and improving your reputation?

Be willing to treat everyone like you would treat your dearest friend. Do not skimp on service nor be mediocre or run of the mill. Show people what you are capable of and that you care about your image and reputation.

When it comes to success, the people who are willing to go the extra mile get there that much faster!

With thanks to Jack Canfield http://www.pure-spirit.com/articles/read-more-articles/211-going-the-extra-mile