The Power Of Negative Thought

Negative thinking appears to be more prevalent than positive thinking. It seems that with most people, positive thinking requires some effort, whereas, negative thinking comes easily and often uninvited. This has much to do with education and the environment one has been living in.

If you have been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere, there is more probability that it will be easier for you to think positively. However, If you have been brought up under poor or difficult situations, you will more probably be attracted to negative thinking.

You view the world through your predominant mental attitude. If your thoughts are positive, that is fine, but if they are negative, your life and circumstances would probably mirror these thoughts.

If you believe that you are going to fail, you will unconsciously sabotage every opportunity to succeed. If you are afraid of meeting new people or having close relationships, you will do everything to avoid people and relationships, and then complain that you are lonely and nobody loves you.

The power of negative thinking in action

• Do you often think about difficulties, failure and disasters?
• Keep thinking about the negative news see and hear on the TV, or read in the newspapers?
• See yourself stuck and unable to improve your life or your health?
• Frequently think that you do not deserve happiness or money, or that it is too difficult to get them?

If you do, then you will close your mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such ways, as to repel people and opportunities.

The mind often, does not judge or examine thoughts and opinions before accepting them. If what it hears, sees and reads is always negative, it accepts this as a standard.

The media constantly bombards the mind with a lot of information about disasters, catastrophes, wars and other unhappy events. This information sinks into the subconscious mind, and then, manifests as your habitual manner of thinking. By occupying the mind with depressing and pessimistic thoughts you radiate negative energy into the surrounding world, and therefore, create and recreate more negativity, failures and disasters.

The mind is neutral energy. The way you think determines whether the results are positive and beneficial, or negative and harmful. It is the same energy acting in different ways.

The good news is that persistent inner work can change habits of thinking. You must be willing to put energy and time to pursue positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude.

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Creating Prosperity

Abundance and prosperity is something we are born with, yet as we grow we forget that. 

Fortunately you have the power to create it in your life. You were born abundant. The universe is abundant. This is truth, but you may have forgotten it.

As we navigate life we become programmed to see the lack in everything, rather than the abundance that is right in front of us. 

It is up to you to create abundance and prosperity in your life. No one can do it for you. Fortunately it is something we all can do and achieve.

The Law of Attraction states that, what you focus your attention on you attract. If you are focused on lack, then lack you will receive. To manifest abundance and prosperity in your life, crowd out the “lack” thinking and replace it with thoughts of abundance and prosperity.

Your thoughts influence your feelings. From those feelings you take actions that produce results. You are the source of those results. Focusing on your inner world (thoughts) brings you faster results in your outer world.

In order to manifest abundance and prosperity, you need to attract it to you.

Identify and feel the abundance and prosperity already present in your life. A good way to bring those feelings in is to journal all things you have in your life already (people, things, money, career, etc.), all the opportunities you have had and all you have achieved. Feeling grateful for the abundance and prosperity already in your life rather than the insufficiency. 

Next design your vision of abundance and prosperity, get really specific. Describe it in terms of what you will experience when you have it. Use all your five senses of vision, hearing, taste, smell and touch. Ask yourself questions like: “What will your abundant and prosperous life be like? What activities will you be doing and how will you feel like when you have it? What changes are in your life and who is around you?”

Set your intention so that your vision of abundance and prosperity will manifest.

Another aspect to manifestation is the Law of Allowing. Knowing that what you are attracting will manifest in your life. You must trust that you will create it and allow it to happen when it is appropriate for you. Some people find this challenging. Stay focused on the abundance and prosperity already in your life. Regular meditations and reflection on your vision keeps you focused on what you want.

Here is a recap of the steps to manifest abundance and prosperity into your life:

1. Feel the abundance and prosperity already in your life
2. Design your vision of abundance and prosperity
3. Set the intention that you will manifest your vision
4. Trust that it will happen

Pay attention to changes in your life. Maybe things will not manifest exactly as you expect, but the essence of what you are attracting does manifest.

With thanks to noomii.com

The Promise Of Easter

Easter is usually thought of as the time for a break from work, Easter eggs, hot cross buns and DIY. But it is so much more, it is one of the most special holidays of the year. Of course there is a special significance for Christians celebrating Easter and Jewish people celebrating Passover. But, there is also something in the air for everyone.

As the mornings and evenings grow lighter and as the last of the winter frosts disappear, there is a great feeling of new beginnings. The first trees are in blossom and the others have green buds. The grass is starting to grow faster than even the most avid gardener can mow it.

This is a great time of the year to look back at those New Year resolutions, to review progress and to take any corrective action needed.

The seasons can affect our feelings and attitudes. The chances are that you made those January resolutions in the midst of a cold, grey and wet winter, that probably made your emotions and optimism pretty cold, grey and wet too.

But, when the natural world is bursting with the promise of a glorious spring and the warmth of summer, this is an ideal time to decide that you too will start over and put right anything that you feel needs correction in your own life.

Unless humans interfere with nature, it has its own graceful balance. The old and used makes way for the new and the vibrant. Anyone can do the same with their own thoughts and attitudes. Perhaps those fondly held beliefs that served you well in the past are due for an overhaul. Perhaps it is time to restore your own natural balance.

Balance means harmony rather than discord. This should include a brief but thorough examination of all the areas of your life, relationships, career, health, finances, leisure and talents.

This is an example of how easy it is to get out of balance. A businessman was successful by most material measures. Despite his large house, ample income and luxury car, he was an unhappy person. He had spent so much time and energy building his business that he had no time left for all of the other aspects of his life that were also important . He decided it was time for change and began working on restoring balance into his life. Within weeks he had found happiness too and without putting any of his material gains at risk either.

You would have to be a very cold person indeed, to totally ignore the promise of Easter. So take some of that promise for yourself and then make sure it is a promise that is delivered. You deserve nothing less.

Happy Easter - Happy Pesach   

Copyright The Coaching Academy

Overcome Anger With Laughter

It has been a while.....

We have all heard that laughter is the best medicine, and it is true. Laughter relieves stress, elevates mood, and makes you more resilient. But it is also good for your relationships. Laughter brings people closer together, creates intimacy, and serves as a powerful tool for managing conflict and reducing tension when emotions are running high. Whether with a romantic partner, friends and family, or co-workers, you can learn to use humour to smooth over disagreements, lower everyone’s stress level, and communicate in a way that strengthens and deepens your relationships.

The Role of Laughter in Relationships

Humour plays an important role in all kinds of relationships. In new relationships, humour can be an effective tool not just for attracting the other person, but also for overcoming any awkwardness that arises during the process of getting to know one another. In established relationships, it can keep things exciting, fresh, and vibrant. Humour can also help you get past conflicts, disagreements, and the tiny aggravations that can build up over time and wreck even the strongest of bonds.

Sharing the pleasure of humour creates a sense of intimacy and connection between two people. Qualities that define solid, successful relationships. When you laugh with one another, you create a positive bond between you. This bond acts as a strong buffer against stress, disagreements, disappointments, and bad patches in a relationship. And laughter really is contagious, just hearing someone laugh primes you to smile and join in the fun.

Laughter can help:

Form a stronger bond with other people. Your health and happiness depend, to a large degree, on the quality of your relationships, and laughter binds people together.

Smooth over differences. Using gentle humour often helps you address even the most sensitive issues, such as sex or in-laws.

Diffuse tension.  A well timed joke can ease a tense situation and help you resolve disagreements.

Overcome problems and setbacks. A sense of humour is the key to resilience. It helps you take hardships in your stride, weather disappointment, and bounce back from adversity and loss.

Put things into perspective: Most situations are not as bleak as they appear when looked at from a playful and humourous point of view. It can also help you reframe problems that might otherwise seem overwhelming and damage a relationship.

Be more creative. Humour and playfulness can loosen you up, energise your thinking, and inspire you.

Use Laughter to Manage and Diffuse Conflict

Conflict is an inevitable part of all relationships. It may take the form of major discord between the two of you or simply petty aggravations that have built up over time. Either way, how you manage conflict can often determine the success of your relationship.

When conflict and disagreement throw a wrench into your relationship, humor and playfulness can help lighten the tension and restore a sense of connection. Used respectfully, a little lighthearted humour can quickly turn conflict and tension into an opportunity for shared fun and intimacy. It allows you to get your point across without getting the other person’s defenses up or hurting their feelings.

Humour is not a miracle cure for conflicts, but it can be an important tool to help you overcome the rough spots that afflict every relationship from time to time. Humour free of hurtful sarcasm or ridicule neutralises conflict by helping you:

Interrupt the power struggle, instantly easing tension and allowing you to reconnect and regain perspective.

Be more spontaneous. Shared laughter and play helps you break free from rigid ways of thinking and behaving, allowing you to see the problem in a new way and find a creative solution.

Be less defensive. In playful settings, we hear things differently and can tolerate learning things about ourselves that we otherwise might find unpleasant or even painful.

Let go of inhibitions. Laughter opens us up, freeing us to express what we truly feel and allowing our deep, genuine emotions to rise to the surface.

Manage Conflict with Humour

Like any tool, humour can be used in negative as well as positive ways. Making snide, hurtful remarks, for example, then criticising the other person for not being able to take a joke will create even more problems and ultimately damage a relationship.

Humour can only help you overcome conflict when both parties are in on the joke. It is important to be sensitive to the other person. If your partner, co-worker, family member, or friend is not likely to appreciate the joke, do not say or do it, even if it is “all in good fun.” When the joking is one-sided rather than mutual, it undermines trust and goodwill and can damage the relationship.

Humour should be equally fun and enjoyable for everyone involved. If others do not think your joking or teasing is funny, stop immediately. Before you start playing around, take a moment to consider your motives, as well as the other person’s state of mind and sense of humour.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Do you feel calm, clear-headed, and connected to the other person?

Is your true intent to communicate positive feelings, or are you taking a dig, expressing anger, or laughing at the other person’s expense?

Will the joke be understood and appreciated?

Be aware of the emotional tone of the nonverbal messages you are sending. Are you giving off positive, warm signals or a negative, hostile tone?

Are you sensitive to the nonverbal signals the other person is sending? Do they seem open and receptive to your humour, or closed-off and offended?

Be willing and able to back off if the other person responds negatively to the joke.

If you say or do something that offends, is it easy for you to immediately apologise?

Do not use Laughter to cover up other Emotions

Homour helps you stay resilient in the face of life’s challenges. But there are times when humour is not healthy and that is when it is used as a cover for avoiding, rather than coping with, painful emotions. Laughter can be a disguise for feelings of hurt, fear, anger, and disappointment that you do not want to feel or know how to express.

You can be funny about the truth, but covering up the truth is not funny. When you use humour and playfulness as a cover for other emotions, you create confusion and mistrust in your relationships. 

If Humour is being used to Conceal other Emotions, ask yourself:

Is the joke at another person or group’s expense? Does it tear down and divide, rather than build up and unite?

Are you truly trying to share a mutual laugh, or do you have another agenda, getting a criticism in, putting the other person in their place, proving that you are in the right?

Do you often use humour to put yourself down? There is nothing wrong with good-naturedly poking fun at yourself, but frequent self-disparaging jokes may be a defense mechanism for low self-esteem and insecurity.

Is humour your default, even in serious situations that call for sensitivity and maturity? Have you been told by more than one person that your jokes are inappropriate or ill-timed?

Do other people take you seriously? Or do they see you as a clown, maybe good for a laugh, but not someone to depend on in difficult times?

Develop a Smarter Sense of Humour

Some find it easier than others to use humour, especially in tense situations. If your efforts are not going over well, the following tips may help.

Monitor nonverbal cues. If someone is not enjoying your attempts at humour, you will be able to tell from their body language. Does their smile seem fake or forced? Are they leaning away from you or leaning towards you, encouraging you to continue?

Avoid mean-spirited humour. It may work for some comedians on stage, but used one-on-one, it will not only fall flat but may also damage your relationship. Saying something hurtful or insulting, even when framed as a joke, may alienate the other person and weaken the bond between you.

Create inside jokes. An inside joke is something that only the two of you understand. It can often be reduced to a word or short phrase that reminds you both of a funny incident or amusing story, and is usually guaranteed to generate a smile or laugh from the other person. When two people are the only ones “in” on the joke, it can create intimacy and draw you together.

It is Safe to Start with Self Depracating Humour

If you are uncomfortable with making lighthearted banter or cracking jokes, or you struggle to know what is appropriate in any given situation, start by using self-deprecating humour. We all love people who do not take themselves too seriously and are able to gently poke fun at their own failings. After all, we are all flawed and make mistakes. So if you  are having a bad hair day or you have just spilled coffee over yourself, make a joke about it. Even if the joke falls flat or comes out wrong, the only person you risk offending is yourself.

Once you are comfortable making jokes about yourself, you can broaden your range to include other types of humour.

Tap into your Playful Side

Do you find it hard to joke around or loosen up? Maybe you do not think you are funny. Or maybe you are self-conscious and concerned about how you will look and sound to others.

Fearing rejection or ridicule when attempting humour is an understandable fear, but it is important to point out that you do not need to be a comedian in order to use humour to manage conflict. The point is not to impress or entertain the other person, but simply to lighten the mood and defuse tension. So do not be afraid to simply goof around and act silly like a kid. It can lower the other person’s defenses, putting you both in a more positive state of mind that is conducive to smoothing over differences. 

Reclaim your Inner Playfulness

It is never too late to develop and embrace your playful, lighthearted side. If you are uncomfortable letting go, just remember that as a baby, you were naturally playful. You did not worry about the reactions of other people. You can relearn this quality.

Start by identifying the things you enjoy that border on fun or playful. For example, you may like to:

• Tell or listen to jokes
• Watch funny movies or TV shows
• Dance around to cheesy music when you are alone
• Sing playfully in the shower
• Daydream
• Read the funny pages/comic strips

After you recognise playful things you already enjoy, you can try to incorporate them into your relationships. The important thing is to find enjoyable activities that loosen you up and help you embrace your playful nature with other people. The more you joke, play, and laugh the easier it becomes.

Practise with the Experts

Play with animals. Puppies, kittens, and other animals, both young and old are eager playmates and always ready to frolic. Volunteer to care for pets at a shelter or rescue group. Stop to play with a friendly animal in your neighborhood, or consider getting a pet of your own.

Play with babies and young children. The real authorities in human play are children, especially young children. Playing with children who know and trust you is a wonderful way to get back in touch with your playful side.

Interact playfully with customer service people. Most people in the service industry are social and you will find that many will welcome playful banter. Try your wit out on a friendly cashier, receptionist, waiter, hostess, or salesperson.

As humour and play become an integrated part of your life, you will begin to find daily opportunities for using your newfound skills to help maintain your relationships and manage conflict.

With thanks to Lawrence Robinson, Jeanne Segal Ph.D., and Melinda Smith M.A.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/managing-conflicts-with-humor.htm/

Love Yourself

February is the month when love is in the air, thanks to St Valentine. But here is a thought for you. When did you last give yourself a Valentine?

That is not as strange as it may seem. As anyone who knows true love will tell you, the more love that you give, the more you receive. This starts an amazing circle of ever increasing love, which makes your eyes shine; your energy level rises and improves every aspect of your life.

The place to start the whole cycle going is with self love. This does not mean selfishness and introspection. It means taking time out to truly appreciate all your great qualities, skills and talents. Love yourself, give yourself a hug.

So many people find that they benefit from this simple change to their approach to love, because most of us are brought up with a culture where it is considered bad form to put yourself first, we can severely limit the love that we have to give.

It can also limit your capacity to receive love. If you do not love yourself, you may feel that you are unlovable by someone else. At best, this can make you doubt any expressions of love that you receive. At worst, it can even make you repel those who want to love you and that can result in the collapse of a relationship.

Self love is not the same as selfishness. It is the ability to acknowledge all your good points instead of a continual focus on your faults. It means looking into the mirror and seeing a person of great potential. When you can do this you can look the world in the eye, you can give freely and you can project love outwards to others.

A reason why so many people never get to find the one true love that the Valentines cards talk about, is because the whole idea of self love is alien to them. If they think about it as self-esteem then it becomes more acceptable. Every truly happy and successful person has high self-esteem. This is not the same as arrogance or conceit. It is about giving as much credibility to your positive qualities as you do to all of the others.

Address the issue of self-esteem then everything else just falls into place. The process of increased awareness is simple, gradual and very effective. The biggest payoff is, when you have done it once, you have it for all time. Then you become truly aware that you can be, do or have whatever you want in life and, that includes love.

We are all born with a good awareness of ourselves. What subsequently happens is that we remember all the negative things that others tell us about ourselves and these can swamp our opinions about the good qualities that we have. Decide to base your impressions of self on what you truly know to be true, instead of the opinions of others and you are well on the way to building up that never ending store of love that is your birthright.

With thanks to https://www.the-coaching-academy.com