The parent makes the rules and then routinely breaks them. The leader just asked everyone to scale back and then spends like there is no tomorrow. The politician says, “Trust me,” but we quickly learn that his promises are empty. The truth is, talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words.
Why do people say one thing and then do another, make promises one second only to break them minutes later, say they care when it is so obvious they could not care less?
Can they not see the potential damage to their credibility? Why would they torpedo a relationship that has taken them a lifetime to build? Do they not realise they are undermining their chances for success? The next time they say something, people may doubt what they say or second-guess their intentions, simply because they are no longer trusted. No one is going to stand up and shout, “You just lost my trust and respect!” but the silence will be deafening
Some people may say it is not a big deal, everyone does it. No one is watching anyway, people do not really care. Well, I am here to tell you they are sadly mistaken!
You send a message with what you say AND what you do. If words are not supported with consistent actions, they will ring hollow. Someone once said, “Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.”
Here are some examples of people who live by the philosophy, “Do As I Say, Not As I Do.”
All Talk, No Action
The emperor is all talk, no action. Like the emperor’s new clothes, everything is centred on the show rather than substance. He talks a good game, but do not expect any action or follow up from this empty suit.
The politician will say anything to win your vote of confidence; this person is great with words but do not ask for accountability. Once this opportunist gets what she wants, she is nowhere to be found.
The hypocrites are so full of empty words that even they do not believe what they are saying. Forget action on their part. They have a hard enough time keeping their own stories straight.
The drifters have no backbone. They make statements one minute and change their positions the next. If it seems that these people are confused or evasive, it is because they are.
The professor speaks eloquently about theory, but that is where it ends. Action? That thought never crossed their mind. Friedrich Engels had it right when he said, “An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.”
The zombie is so oblivious to reality he does not even realise that his words are out of step with his actions. It only takes someone else to shine a bright light on this fellow to expose his insincerity.
Actions Matter: Do As I Do, Not As I Say
Whether you are a leader motivating the “troops,” a role model influencing your “fans,” or a parent showing that you care, it is critical to send straightforward messages. If your words are not consistent with your actions, you are not only confusing the listener, you may also be causing irreparable damage to your own credibility.
Your reputation reflects the words AND actions that you send during the life of a relationship. In the early stages of a relationship, we extend ourselves in small ways and observe responses to our actions. Then we take appropriate action, engaging further or withdrawing a bit each time, until a level of trust is formed. Once we get to know someone, we look for regular and consistent patterns of behaviour because the more predictable people are, the more comfort we have with them.
We ask ourselves: “Do they feel strongly about their beliefs one day and abandon them the next?” “Do they expect others to live by one set of rules while they live by another?” “Do they make promises only to break them?”
When you “walk the talk,” your behaviour becomes a catalyst for people’s trust and faith in you. And it also emphasises what you stand for.
The bottom line is simply this: Trust is not guaranteed, and it cannot be won overnight. Trust must be carefully developed, vigorously nurtured, and constantly reinforced. And, although trust may take a long time to develop, it can be lost through a single action, once lost, it can be very difficult to re-establish.
So, any time you make a claim, no matter how small, and display inconsistent behaviour, you shatter the comfort zone, and weaken your bond of trust with others. As a result, anything thought to be predictable in the future may be treated as suspect. The fact is, everything you do in life sends a message. So, make sure to practice what you preach. As Ben Franklin said, “Well done is better than well said.”
With thanks to Frank Sonnenberg http://www.franksonnenbergonline.com/blog/actions-speak-louder-than-words/
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